


The Day I Left You

by Blue_Oleander



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work, Pathfinder (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Alexander makes bad decisions, Alexander needs some rest, Alexander's aunt and uncle are not the best, Alexander's aunt and uncle are very far from the best, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Found Family, Gen, Heavily Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lots of talk about death, Magdala is a good grandma, Platovember, Red has had a rough life, This is for sure A Thing now, This is turning into A Thing and I didn't really mean for it to, father/son bonding, mostly references to blood, okay so there's lots of angst now, some angsty stuff, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 25,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27342424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Oleander/pseuds/Blue_Oleander
Summary: In the void of stars, it had taken Alexander a while to face the fact that he’d died. It came with the guilt of everything he’d left behind. The realization that he would never get to see his son, or Red, or any of the orphans grow up. He’d never get to see Andulhaven rebuilt to its full potential. But once he’d heard his brother’s voice in the stars, he’d forgotten about his own life. Because while it was hard for him to accept his own death, he’d never accepted Avory’s.And now here he was, alive again. And Avory continued to wander that void of stars, alone.(A series of thirty vignettes originally written for Platovember, a list of prompts created by @broskepol on Tumblr. Now with a new Chapter Three!)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	1. Day One: Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROMPT LIST: 
> 
> Day One: Rest [Alexander & Rory]  
> Day Two: Escape [Alexander & Red]  
> Day Three: Acceptance [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Four: Expectation [Alexander & Nephith]  
> Day Five: Wish [Alexander & Magdala]  
> Day Six: Warmth [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Seven: Gratitude [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Eight: Trust [Alexander & Magdala]  
> Day Nine: Darkness [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Ten: Relief [Alexander & Cosmo]  
> Day Eleven: Murmur [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Twelve: Loss [Alexander & Red]  
> Day Thirteen: Forgiveness [Alexander & Magdala]  
> Day Fourteen: Silence [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Fifteen: Damage [Alexander & Red & Rory]  
> Day Sixteen: Safety [Alexander & Nephith & Caltan]  
> Day Seventeen: Delight [The Gang's All Here]  
> Day Eighteen: Fall [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Nineteen: Lightness [Alexander & Twilight]  
> Day Twenty: Anxiety [Alexander & Cosmo]  
> Day Twenty-One: (Pathfinder OCs [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Twenty-Two: Vulnerability [The Gang's All Here]  
> Day Twenty-Three: Study [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Twenty-Four: Secret [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Twenty-Five: Hope [Alexander & Caltan]  
> Day Twenty-Six: Dream [Alexander & Red]  
> Day Twenty-Seven: Loyalty [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Twenty-Eight: Contrast [Alexander & Magdala]  
> Day Twenty-Nine: Break [Alexander & Avory]  
> Day Thirty: Reunion [Alexander & Avory]

Alexander sighed as he dropped onto his bed after another exhausting day of planning and rebuilding Andulhaven. If he were to go about it alone, it wouldn’t be quite a daunting task, he figured. It was the fact that he had to talk to so many _people_ that made it so draining. They all counted on him to know what to do. Andulhaven needed a mayor. And Alexander needed that mayor to _not be him_. 

After thirty seconds of peace that passed far too quickly, Alexander forced himself to sit back up. An even greater responsibility awaited him. He’d take rebuilding and expanding Andulhaven three times over if it could relieve him of the stress of fatherhood.

Magdala awaited him at the front door of the orphanage, right on time as always. In her arms, she held a small bundle, wrapped tightly against the cold winds of Sularen. Magdala bustled right in, muttering under her breath.

“Took you long enough.”

“You can open the door by yourself,” Alexander retorted. 

Magdala handed him the bundle unceremoniously with a scowl. “ _You_ try it with a baby in your arms.”

Alexander cleared his throat. “Fair enough.” He shifted the bundle so it rested more comfortably in his arms. 

“He’s already asleep,” Magdala said, sitting on one of the living room couches with a grunt. “I’ve fed him, too.”

“I can do that. I told you I wanted to start doing that.”

Magdala raised an eyebrow at him. “You try telling a screaming child ‘ _no_ ’ when he’s hungry. See how well that goes for you.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “Fine. But I’ll feed him in the morning.”

“You’re keeping him overnight, then?”

Swallowing, Alexander averted his gaze, suddenly unsure. “Well. I thought I’d try.”

“Thank the gods. You’ll finally know what it’s like to try and sleep with a newborn in the house.”

“You need the rest more than I do.”

“What, because I’m old?” Magdala chuckled. “No, dear, this will just give me more time to catch up on my knitting.”

“You’ll be asleep before the sun goes down.”

Magdala let out another hearty laugh. They fell into a comfortable silence as they enjoyed the rare emptiness of the living room. Alexander realized he’d probably have to force the children of the orphanage to stop playing in the snow before dark. 

His bundle shifted slightly. With a hand that still trembled with the very thought of touching a newborn, he nudged the blankets away from his son’s face. Dark eyes blinked lethargically at him. 

“He’s awake.” 

“Well, good luck!” With a good-natured snicker, Magdala rose to her feet again. “I suppose I should bring you some supplies if you plan on keeping him overnight.” 

“You’re leaving?”

“Don’t panic, Alexander.” She’d detected the desperate crackle in his voice. “I’ll be back soon. I’ll stay until you get him back to sleep.”

Alexander nodded, watching helplessly as she exited through the front door. When it closed behind her, he shuddered before the cold air had the chance to hit him. 

“Well, Rory,” he mumbled down at his little bundle, “what are the odds you’ll go right back to sleep?” 

Rory made a noise. It didn’t sound like an upset noise, but Alexander couldn’t confidently place it as a happy one, either. 

“Okay. Sure.”

Another babble.

“...I can’t wait until you can talk.”

He was about to sink onto Magdala’s spot on the couch but thought better of it. Noisy pre-teens stomping through the living room was a common occurrence at this hour. Perhaps the privacy of his room would be better suited to putting a child to sleep.

As he climbed the stairs, Rory’s eyes moved about, wide open and exploring. He made a few more indecipherable noises. 

“Nice place, huh? Someday, you’ll get to live here, too.” He bit his lip thoughtfully. “When you’re ready. When _I’m_ ready.”

And then, he was faced with the closed door to his room, with a baby in his arms.

“...alright, Magdala. You got your wish.” He moved to cradle Rory with one arm and quickly shoved his door open, punting it shut with his foot once he was inside. 

The bed in the center of his room called to him. _He_ was the one who needed a nap. Kicking off his shoes, he sat on the edge of it, sitting Rory on his lap. He pulled the blankets away so Rory could move about.

“Maybe you could be mayor of Andulhaven one day,” Alexander said with a yawn.

Rory babbled a reply.

“Sounds stressful, doesn’t it? You know, they want _me_ to be mayor? That would make you the mayor’s son. You’d practically be halfway there.”

Rory reached up to grab at the collar of Alexander’s shirt. Alexander leaned closer to get a better look at him. 

He wondered if they looked alike. 

He wondered if he would look like _her_. 

Shaking his head, Alexander tried to clear his head of that thought. Rory was _his_. It didn’t matter what he looked like.

“Ow!” Apparently, the shaking of his head had piqued Rory’s interest in Alexander’s hair, which he now held in one tiny fist. “Nope, no, not the hair.” He tugged his head away, freeing his hair from Rory’s grasp.

Rory stared up at him for two seconds before he burst into tears.

“...no, come on. Don’t...don’t do that. Please?”

Rory wailed all the louder, grabbing pitifully for Alexander’s hair, just out of reach. 

“Fine. Okay, here.” Alexander leaned his head back down and grunted once Rory grabbed onto his hair again, more forcefully this time. Rory sobbed a few more times before falling silent.

“Don’t think this means you get whatever you want. I’m just too tired to put up with this right now.”

Rory gave Alexander’s hair a good yank. 

After a few moments of relative peace (save for the occasional hair-pulling), a haze of exhaustion settled around Alexander. Gently, he pulled Rory closer, hugging him to his chest. Rory let go of his hair, then, in favor of Alexander’s collar. 

“Are you tired?” Alexander could hope. “I am.” Scooting further back on his bed, he slowly lowered himself until he was laying on his back. Rory accepted the change of position, sprawling out on his chest. Alexander could feel his hands clenching and unclenching around the fabric of his shirt.

“It’s not even dark out yet,” Alexander murmured, “but I could sleep for a whole day. You’re lucky. You can sleep whenever you want.” He rubbed one hand absentmindedly up and down Rory’s back. He was so small.

“I can’t imagine I’m very comfortable. Are you sure you’re okay like that?”

Rory responded with a tiny sigh.

A smile ghosted Alexander’s lips. He allowed himself to close his eyes.

“Good. We can stay like this, then. For a little while.”


	2. Day Two: Escape

“Have you seen Red?”

Alexander leaned through the doorway of the bakery, tapping one foot pensively as he waited for Magdala to turn around. She took her time placing her stack of napkins on a nearby table.

“I’m sorry, Alexander, I’m afraid my ears haven’t quite woken up yet. What did you say?”

“Have you seen Red?” He emphasized each syllable. “He wasn’t at breakfast this morning. None of the other kids saw him leave. No one knows where he went.”

“Did you check outside the orphanage?” Magdala’s expression portrayed something less than concern. She didn’t even seem perplexed.

“Yes! I did, first thing. Then, I came right here.”

Magdala retrieved her napkins and resumed filling the wooden napkin-holders on each table. “There’s a lot of ground to cover between here and the orphanage,” she said. 

“Aren’t you worried at all?”

Magdala hummed. “Well, perhaps a little. But you must recall that I watched that dear boy for several months while you were raising the dead over in the City of Depths. I’d deign to say I know him a little better than you do.” She had the gall to wink at him.

Alexander scowled. “Where is he?”

“In the kitchen, dear. He was helping me make some scones this morning. Nothing to worry about.”

“Why didn’t he—?” Alexander stormed into the bakery. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Don’t yell at me, Alexander. It’s too early for that.” She patted him on the arm as he passed. “I’m no tattletale. Red didn’t want me to tell you. You’ll have to ask him yourself.”

Alexander threw one last glance at Magdala over his shoulder before he pushed his way into the kitchen.

Sitting on a stool next to the oven, Red stared fixedly at a little sand timer in his hands, watching the grains fall one by one. He looked up as Alexander entered, and then immediately dropped his gaze to the floor.

“Nice of you to tell me where you were going.” Alexander had to restrain the anger in his tone. “I was worried about you! You can’t just disappear like that, not after…” he stopped and cleared his throat. The ending of his sentence hung heavily in the air, unspoken. 

“I’m sorry.” Alexander barely heard Red’s quiet voice. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? It’s not like I would have told you ‘no.’ I don’t care if you want to bake with Magdala.”

Red bowed his head and didn’t answer. 

“Come on.” Alexander knelt in front of the boy. “You’re not in trouble or anything. I’m not...I’m not mad, okay? I just want to know why.”

When Red remained silent, Alexander shuffled a little closer. Just as he reached out to touch Red’s shoulder, a tear dropped down onto the sand timer, glanced off, and splashed onto the floor.

“Oh, Red.” Alexander slowly retrieved the timer and set it on the floor. Then he put an arm around Red’s shoulders and held him snug against his chest. “I promise I’m not mad at you. I was just really worried. It’s not like you to run off.”

Red whispered something unintelligible. He swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Hmm?” Alexander rubbed at a bit of Red’s hair and tried to get a better look at his face. Red still refused to look at him.

“I…” Red drew a shaky breath as he spoke through his tears. “I...did-didn’t want...to make you...sad,” he managed at last.

“Why would it make me sad?” Alexander asked. He tried to make his voice soft to take the edge off of his confusion. “Magdala’s amazing. I wouldn’t be sad if you wanted to spend time with her.”

Red shook his head. “No, I mean…” He paused to hold his breath, and then his throat made a sound like he was stifling sobs.

“No, no,” Alexander gave his shoulders a squeeze. “None of that. That hurts you. It’s better to just let it out. You can cry. It’s okay.”

In a release of tears and words, Red wailed, “I don’t like it there! I don’t want to live there! I don’t have—have any friends, and I—” He coughed, and Alexander rubbed his back. “I feel so lonely. You...you’re always gone. I don’t like the other kids…” Red finally returned Alexander’s half-hug, burying his face underneath Alexander’s chin. “I’m sorry,” he sniffed, his voice muffled. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I ran away.”

“You’re okay, buddy.” Alexander continued to rub Red’s back, processing every word the child said. “You’re okay.”

“I...I like it better here. I can help out.” Red’s shoulders sank as he recovered from his emotional outburst.

“Well, I’m sure Magdala loves having your help in the bakery,” Alexander said. “I would ask her to watch over you full-time, but she’s already taking care of one of my kids.” He said it with a smile. 

Red coughed out a laugh. “But I’m way older than Rory.”

“You are.” Alexander turned his head so his cheek brushed against Red’s hair as he nodded.

“And I’m not your real kid.” Some of the shakiness bled back into his voice.

“Maybe not by blood. You’re probably better off without my blood.”

“No… I’d get to be more like you.”

Alexander couldn’t help but laugh. “The reason I try so hard with all of you kids is so you _don’t_ turn out like me.”

“But you’re doing good, Alex.”

Those words struck an unexpected chord in Alexander’s heart. Red’s use of his forbidden nickname called him back to a simpler time, and his chest ached with the desire to return to those days. He masked the constricting of his throat with another laugh. “Thanks, buddy.”

“I just wish I could see you more…” Red leaned back and finally looked up at Alexander. “I missed you so much while you were gone.”

Alexander pressed his lips into a thoughtful frown. “I know. I wish I didn’t have to spend so much time out in the town, but…”

“But they need you to help out.”

“They do. And believe me, Nephith would _not_ be happy if I left the work to her and Caltan.”

Red giggled. “Nephith’s never happy, is she?”

“It’s rare, but she’s been through some tough stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to be happy, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Red nodded. “Like, when I’m at the mansion, and the other kids forget my name, or don’t ask me to play with them. It’s hard to be happy then.”

“Here’s what we can do,” Alexander said. “I’ll have to talk to Magdala first, but I’m sure she’ll be alright with it. In the mornings, and while I’m working around town to get my important work done, you can come to the bakery and help Magdala out. You can watch her timer, or whatever.”

“I’m gonna tell her when the scones are done,” Red cut in.

“Right. You tell her when the scones are done. Then, after I’m done for the day, you can come back to the mansion and play with some of the other kids. Or,” he added, noticing Red’s discomfort, “you can help me with Rory. How’s that sound?”

A smile broke through Red’s downcast countenance. “I can be like his big brother?”

“Big brother Red,” Alexander nodded. “I’m sure the two of you will get along.” He gave Red’s hair a ruffle.

“I think so,” Red said. He swiped the last of his tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry for leaving without telling you.”

“Just try to remember for next time, buddy. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks. And hey,” Alexander dropped his hand onto Red’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for not noticing you were upset. We might have fixed this sooner if I’d been paying more attention.”

Red shrugged and offered Alexander a half-smile. 

“Now, should we go ask Magdala if she’ll give you a job?” Alexander straightened up, his knees protesting after crouching for so long. Red stopped him before he could get too far by wrapping his arms around Alexander’s waist. Alexander fell onto one knee with a grunt and a laugh. He returned the hug, resting his chin on top of Red’s head.

“I love you,” Red whispered, as if it were the greatest of secrets.

Alexander squeezed him a little tighter. Through a bright smile, he said, “Love you too, buddy.”


	3. Day Three: Acceptance

Alexander lay awake, staring at his ceiling with eyes that could see nothing in the darkness. On nights like these, he preferred a tired morning to falling asleep. He’d already woken up after one nightmare; he’d far sooner wait the night out than endure another. 

He was certainly no stranger to nightmares, but ever since his most recent trip to the City of Depths, the nightmares had turned to terrors. 

He’d faced many tragedies in his life, but none of them quite faced up to dying. Dying and then being brought back to life, as if nothing had ever happened. 

He remembered the terrifying void of stars death had sent him to; how he’d wandered for what seemed like years, searching for  _ something _ . 

A shudder tingled through him as he remembered the one thing he  _ did _ find. 

Alexander sighed. No, he wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Not with the voice of his brother in his head. 

In the void of stars, it had taken him a while to face the fact that he’d died. It came with the guilt of everything he’d left behind. The realization that he would never get to see his son, or Red, or any of the orphans grow up. He’d never get to see Andulhaven rebuilt to its full potential. But once he’d heard his brother’s voice in the stars, he’d forgotten about his own life. Because while it was hard for him to accept his own death, he’d never accepted Avory’s. 

And now here he was, alive again. And Avory continued to wander that void of stars, alone. 

Alexander flicked on his lanturn and shuffled out of bed. He opened the Bag of Holding on his desk and withdrew a small, wooden chest. He undid the latch and lifted the top, studying the shimmering blue specks inside. It glowed violet in the candlelight. 

Diamond dust. Or, what was left of his supply. Alexander knew most of it had been used to revive him. Right now, he only had a pinch worth around 150 gold pieces. 

True Resurrection, the spell that could bring Avory back to life, required diamond dust equating 5,000 gold pieces. 

Clicking the chest closed again, Alexander placed it resolutely in a desk drawer and made a promise to himself, and to Avory. 


	4. Day Four: Expectation

Deskwork, Alexander thought, was perhaps the worst part of rebuilding Andulhaven. Normally, someone else would task manage, check lists, and write documents, but today Alexander held the pen. 

“Thank you, Tobias,” he said, waving the scrawny kid off once he’d taken the roll of parchment. "I’ll put your supplies on the list. Don’t expect them until sometime next week, though. We’ve got a lot to pick up.”

Tobias nodded. “Um, ‘course, sir. We’ll do, uh, whatever we can until they arrive.” He fled the office without looking back. 

Alexander rolled his eyes. The younger workers always acted intimidated by him, though he couldn’t tell why. According to Magdala, he didn’t look a day over eighteen (and he resented that). Maybe it was because of...oh, what had Maia called it? Right. His ‘resting bored face.’”

He unrolled the parchment, glancing over the list of supplies with half of his attention. Another house to be built. Nothing new. He checked the list against the existing file and found all of the items already listed, so he tacked on a few more tallies for each item and dropped Tobias’ paper in the  _ completed _ stack on the floor. Well, it was less of a stack and more of a...pile. Magdala might call it a hazard. 

Oh, well. He hadn’t claimed to be the most organized, and he hadn’t wanted this job, anyway.

The office door opened without a preceding knock, causing Alexander to jolt slightly in his chair. He scowled as Nepthith closed the door behind her. A glint of something in the elf’s eyes made Alexander uneasy.

“How’s your leg?” she asked.

Alexander huffed. “It’s fine. The clerics already tended to it. I can walk normally, but they insisted I take a day off my feet.”

A hint of a smirk pulled at Nephith’s lips. “Magdala told me what happened.”

In the middle of crossing his arms, Alexander stiffened. “Everything?”

“She told me you were so scared of changing your kid’s diaper you fell down the stairs.”

Alexander’s forehead hit the desk with more force than he’d intended, eliciting a grunt. “That’s  _ not _ how it went.” Paperwork and embarrassment muffled his voice. 

“How did it go, then?”

“Just leave, Nephith,” Alexander grumbled. “I’d rather do paperwork than listen to you mock me.”

“I didn’t come here to mock you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m  _ fine _ . So leave, you have better things to do.”

Nephith sat down on the desk. Alexander narrowed his eyes, his forehead still pressed to the smooth wood. 

“I’m sure it’s not easy. Raising a kid. A baby, no less.” Nephith’s voice held an uncharacteristic softness. “I’d never want to do it, myself.” 

Alexander scoffed and raised his head. “Why are  _ you _ talking to me about this?” Magdala had put her up to it, Alexander had no doubt.

“Because I want to? Because I know you’re an idiot who won’t say when you’re struggling?”

“I’m—”

“Fine?” They said the word at the same time. Nephith sighed. “You’re not. You’re stressing out over one little mistake. No one expects you to be a perfect father.”

Alexander stared at the desk. He read and re-read the first line of a list of complaints absentmindedly while he formulated a response. He exhaled a terse sigh. “I never expected to  _ be _ a father. I never wanted to be.”

“No one would be able to guess that by looking at you.” Nephith removed a dagger from her hip and began cleaning her fingernails with it. “You  _ live _ at the orphanage. You spend half of every day being the closest thing to a dad those kids have.”

“That’s different,” Alexander said. “I’m watching out for those kids because they have nowhere else to go. I’m not raising them.”

Nephith actually laughed. “Not raising them? Do you think those kids don’t watch your every move? They all want to be just like you.”

“Yeah, but they watch you, too. And Caltan, and Magdala. With Rory, he’s…” Alexander struggled to think of the proper words. He thought of Red and frowned contemplatively. “He’s got my blood. I’m responsible for him, in more ways than one.”

Nephith angled her head so she could look at him. She opened her mouth to say something and then settled for shaking her head silently. Alexander endured the unspoken words.

After a few more moments of silence, Alexander cleared his throat. “Anyway, changing diapers is horrible, and I’m making you do it next time.”

“What?” Nephith choked out in disbelief. “Why me?”

“Because you came to bother me about it.”

“I came to see if you were alright!”

“Uh-huh.”

By now, Nephith stood with her arms crossed over her chest and an incredulous glare aimed in Alexander’s direction. “You’re really stubborn, you know that? I, for once, actually came to check on you. You could at least be grateful.”

“Thank you so much for stopping by, Nephith,” Alexander said in a mock-cheerful tone. “I’ll get to your paperwork when I have the time.”

“Stop. That’s horrifying.”

“I thought you wanted me to be grateful?”

“You. Are a child. It’s no wonder you live in the orphanage.”

Ouch. Alexander didn’t hide his wince. 

“Alright, alright. Low blow. Look, I just…” Nephith sighed. “I’ll let you get back to your paperwork. Just try not to stress too much, alright? You have an entire city willing to help you. No one expects you to do everything by yourself.” She placed a hand on the doorknob.

Alexander nodded and flipped the corner of a piece of parchment with his finger, lost in thought.

As she left the room, Nephith paused and leaned her head back through the doorway. “You know, Alexander, you might not be a perfect father, but you’re still doing a good job. It’s better than letting the kid be raised by his mother.”

Alexander forced out a laugh. He pressed the smile out of his lips and lifted his gaze to look at Nephith. “Thanks,” he said.

Nephith shrugged. “Have fun doing paperwork.” 

Alexander watched her go. Then, he returned to the disorganized array of papers before him.

Next time, he’d work on a wounded leg. The clerics wouldn’t even have to know.


	5. Day Five: Wish

“Run this by me one more time.” Magdala paced the floor of Alexander’s room, rocking baby Rory protectively in her arms. “You think it wise to take a vacation to the Capitol during the dead of winter, _alone_ , and leave an entire orphanage of children behind unsupervised? I can handle one, maybe two of your children, Alexander, but I am _not_ going to nanny _thirty-five_.”

“You won’t have to.” Alexander crossed his arms and sat on his bed with a huff. “A lot of these kids take care of themselves. I’ve given them all jobs to do while I’m gone.”

“Yes, and you’ve put me down as the only emergency contact. I know how this will go.”

“I have to go, Magdala!”

“Oh?” Magdala rested Rory on her hip so she could plant her hand firmly on the other one. “You have to? What is so important that you’d leave everyone behind for?”

Alexander flopped backward and glared at the ceiling. “It’s important.”

“Uh oh. You’re getting moody. This can’t be good.”

Alexander grunted in annoyance.

“I think I deserve an explanation, dear. I know that look. If there’s something you need to say, there’s no need to draw it out. I don’t like being kept in suspense.”

Alexander studied a pattern on the ceiling. “Fine. I’m going to trade some goods for diamond dust. Cosmo told me about some travelers who were carrying it.”

“Alexander…” He could almost taste the disappointment in her voice. “What are you trading for diamond dust?”

“Goods.”

“Trading goods will not take a week’s worth of your time. It takes you all of five minutes to teleport to the Capitol and back.”

The silence that followed weighed heavily on Alexander. Choking on the pressure, he finally said, “They want me for some kind of experiment. They’re testing a new medicine or something.”

“No. You’re not doing that.”

Alexander sat back up with a flourish of black hair. “It’s in the Capitol! And apparently, the experiment is going to be heavily supervised. I will be fine!”

“Alexander, listen to yourself. Those people are offering diamond dust in exchange for your consent. They’re desperate. Who knows what they’ll do to you?”

The tiniest knot of worry soured Alexander’s stomach. He ignored it. “Whatever they do, it will be worth it,” he said.

“Alright then, dear. Second question: what is the diamond dust for?” Magdala sat down on the bed next to him, as if expecting to be needed for emotional support. Alexander couldn’t deny his appreciation.

“It’s—” he tried to exhale away his trepidation. “I’m building up a personal stock. Enough for… To bring him back.”

“Avory?” Magdala guessed. 

Alexander nodded.

“Dear—,”

“And I _don’t_ need anyone’s help,” Alexander interjected. “I’ll get all of the diamond dust I need on my own. I won’t use any that belongs to the city. This is something I have to do myself.”

Magdala cradled Rory with one arm so she could pat Alexander’s knee. “Keep it coming, Alexander. Let it out.”

“When I died—er, did I tell you about that?”

Magdala’s shocked expression implied that he had not.

“Well, when—when I _died_ , I was gone for three hours. Maybe more. The clerics outside the City of Depths brought me back that quickly. During those three hours, I saw him. Avory. We spoke, and I—”

Magdala moved her hand from Alexander’s knee to the narrow space in between his shoulders. 

“I realized it’s been five years since he died. I spent those years wishing every day that I could have done something differently. I thought maybe if I’d been more attentive, he would still be alive. I dared to hope there might be some way to bring him back.” Alexander’s vision blurred. “And I’ve known for over half a year now that there _is_ a way to bring him back. And I’ve done nothing.” He slumped, his head sinking below his shoulders. “Avory said he misses me.” He pressed the tears into his eyes with the heels of his hands before they could fall. “I miss him, too.”

Magdala rubbed Alexander’s back generously and did not comment on the tears. “I fully support your desire to bring your brother back,” Magdala said. “If he’s anything like you, I’m sure he’ll be a joy to add to the family. However,” and here Magdala gave his shoulder a firm squeeze, “putting yourself in danger is not the way to go about this. If you get yourself killed on the hunt for more diamond dust, you’ll be saving nobody, and you’ll effectively re-orphan the entire orphanage, not to mention this little bundle of joy.” She hefted Rory up until he fit more snugly in her arm. “You can’t take that risk.”

Alexander lowered his head further and slid his hands upward until they tangled in his hair. 

“And for goodness’ sake, Alexander, _tell someone_. You could have left for the Capitol and never come back, and we’d have no clue where to start looking. Really, dear, I thought you’d stopped being so reckless.”

“I have to bring him back.” The words struggled to escape Alexander’s throat.

“I understand that, Alexander. I do. But you have friends who would love to help you. As much as you want to believe it is, this is not something you have to do alone. After all, I can’t claim you as my grandson and _not_ claim your younger brother. It will be a family effort.”

Alexander’s shoulders shook, once, with a stifled sob. Magdala resumed her backrub. 

“I’m staying tonight,” she announced. “If I wake up and you’re gone, I will personally hunt you down and drag your sorry self back into town. I mean it.”

Alexander did not doubt that. 

“A family effort, Alexander. Remember that.”


	6. Day Six: Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: slight emotional abuse

“Uncle Emile! Help!” Alexander kicked desperately at the door with the only limb he had free. He wrapped his arms tighter around the shivering form in his arms and ducked his head against the icy wind at his back. “We need help! Let us in!”

It took a full two minutes of pounding before the plea for sanctuary was answered. Emile spat out a curse as a slice of yellow light fell over the sorry scene on the front porch. “Get in here!”

Alexander shuffled over the threshold. A drift of snow invited itself in before the door closed behind him.

“What happened?” Emile demanded. “Where have you been?”

“Outside,” Alexander managed, nearly falling forward in his effort to sit Avory down on the couch. “He...he just stopped moving!”

“Well, what did you think would happen? You were out there for three hours!”

“Help him, please,” Alexander sputtered. “I’m sorry! I know we shouldn’t have been gone so long, but please, you have to help him!”

Emile grunted as he stood. “I’ll get some blankets.” He lumbered off to the bedrooms, shouting, “Lyra!”

Lyra replied from somewhere else in the house. Alexander focused on taking Avory’s coat and shoes off. He tried to brush away the snow that stuck to his brother’s face, but it had frozen like a second layer of skin. Alexander put his face next to Avory’s mouth just to feel if he was still breathing. The tiniest bit of warm air leaked out in time to the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

Once Avory had been divested of his outer layer, Alexander left him alone for the ten seconds it took him to throw another log in the fireplace. Then, with a careful cradle, Alexander carried Avory closer to the fire’s warmth and sat with him on the floor.

“Come on, wake up,” Alexander whispered desperately. He watched the ice crystals on Avory’s face wither and melt. 

Lyra arrived with an armful of blankets. “Oh, poor thing. What happened to him?”

Alexander shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold. “We were outside. Too long.”

As Lyra bundled Avory in the blankets, Emile returned with a wet cloth. He pressed it to Avory’s forehead and then turned a scrutinizing gaze on Alexander.

“You look fine,” he said. “Did you leave him out there by himself?”

“No!” Alexander yelped. “I didn’t! I was with him the whole time!”

“You should have known to come in sooner,” Lyra said with a shake of her head. “Weren’t you getting cold?”

“A little…” Alexander shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t mind the cold.”

Emile touched Alexander’s face with the back of his hand. “You don’t feel cold. There’s no way you were out there as long as he was.”

“I was!”

“If you were, there’s something wrong with you,” Emile scoffed. “You feel like you never left the house.”

Alexander bit his lip and focused on Avory. Under all of the blankets, he’d begun to shift slightly. Alexander could actually hear him breathing. “He’s waking up,” he whispered, grateful to divert his aunt and uncle’s attention for the time being. 

“You’re lucky he’s still alive,” Emile said.

Alexander believed that whole-heartedly.


	7. Day Seven: Gratitude

Several hours later, Alexander crept across the pitch-darkness of his and Avory’s room. He groped for the wooden frame of Avory’s bed, praying he wouldn’t stub a toe in his blindness. His fingers met with the softness of Avory’s blanket. 

“...Ave?”

Fabric rustled. “Yeah?” Avory’s voice crackled at just above a whisper.

“Are you okay?”

“Tired.”

Alexander rested his chin on the bed. “Mm, okay. Are you still cold?”

“Yeah.” 

“I wish I could make it better,” Alexander sighed. “I...I’m sorry.”

“‘S not your fault.” The words slurred on their way out of Avory’s mouth. 

“It is. Uncle Emile said we shouldn’t have been out there for so long. I should have taken you in sooner.”

Avory coughed. Alexander lifted his head, alert, and listened to the raspy breathing that followed. He felt for the glass of water on Avory’s bedside table, careful not to knock it over in the dark. Avory managed a few drinks once Alexander held it to his lips. 

“It’s okay, Alex,” Avory said, settling back under the covers. “I’m glad you saved me.”

“But I—” Alexander sighed. “I shouldn’t have needed to save you. I should have been a better brother and brought you inside when you started to feel cold.”

“I was gonna tell you sooner,” Avory mumbled. “But you didn’t seem cold… I didn’t want to ruin the fun.”

Alexander sank down until he rested his head next to Avory’s pillow. “I...I wasn’t cold,” he said. “I don’t know why. I didn’t feel cold. Maybe a little, but not much.”

Avory’s hand fumbled to meet Alexander’s in the dark. “You feel warmer than me,” Avory said. “Maybe you’ve got warm magic in you, and that’s why you didn’t feel cold.”

“Shhh,” Alexander had to stifle a laugh. “I haven’t got magic in me! Magic isn’t real, remember?”

“If anyone had magic, it would be you,” Avory said. He patted Alexander’s hand thoughtfully. “You’ve got big brother magic. It’s magic that makes you the best big brother ever.”

“I’m the only big brother you have, so of course I’m the best.” Alexander’s words lacked the enthusiasm of proper banter. “I’m not great, but I’m the best you have.”

Avory’s next pat of Alexander’s hand held much more force. “Don’t say that!”

“Hey!” Alexander pulled his hand away. 

Avory took a deep breath to continue talking, but a bout of coughing cut him off. Alexander retrieved the water. It took Avory a bit more time to settle back down again, and once he did, his shoulders slumped with exhaustion. Alexander sat next to him and allowed Avory to lean against him. 

“You’re doing good, Alex.”

“Hmm?” Alexander scooted closer. 

“You’re doing good. Don’t listen to what Emile says. You’re a good big brother. And I’m very thankful that you’re mine.”

Though the night sky still darkened the room, Alexander angled his head to look down at his little brother. “Thanks, buddy,” he whispered. “I couldn’t ask for a better younger brother.”

Avory snuggled in closer and wrapped his arms around Alexander’s waist. “Sleep here tonight?” he asked.

“You’ll have to move over. I’m almost falling off as it is.”

After some shifting, Alexander joined Avory under the blankets. Avory’s body still felt chilled, so Alexander did his best to cuddle his brother close.

“Goodnight, Alex,” Avory yawned.

“Goodnight, Ave.”


	8. Day Eight: Trust

Magdala fluffed up the blankets on Alexander’s bed and patted down the pillows, testing their softness. She hadn’t objected when Alexander offered her the bed for the night, even though it meant he’d have to sleep on the floor. 

He hadn’t planned on getting much sleep, anyway.

“Satisfied?” He asked, as Magdala peeled back the top blanket and folded it over just so. 

“I am.” Magdala smiled at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “And you’re doing very well with him.” She gestured to Rory, who had fallen asleep in Alexander’s arms. “With any luck, we’ll get at least two hours of sleep before he wakes up.”

Ever-so-gently, Alexander laid Rory down in the small wooden crib they’d moved to his room a few days ago. Rory did not stir, even after Alexander covered him with a tiny blanket. 

“Well, if you’re ready to sleep, I am,” he said, mindful of the volume of his voice. 

“Alright, dear.” Magdala began to work her way under the covers, but she remained sitting up in the bed. She fixed Alexander with a serious stare. “I expect to see you when I wake up,” she said. “And you’d better not be taking any trips to the Capitol, or meeting unknown travelers who want to test their new medicines on you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Alexander sighed. “I’m staying right here.”

“I’m trusting you on this, Alexander.”

The words made him sick to his stomach. “I know.” He waited for Magdala to get settled before snuffing out the lights. 

Just as Magdala had predicted, not two hours had passed before the sound of Rory crying awoke them.

“I can take care of him,” Alexander said, already reaching into the crib. “You go back to sleep, Magdala.”

Magdala said something unintelligible in a groggy voice. Alexander thought he caught the words “I’ll get the next one.” In any case, Magdala hadn’t even swung a foot outside the bed, and soon she’d fallen back asleep. 

Rory, thankfully, didn’t take much to be placated this time. Alexander rocked him diligently and attempted to feed him some of the food mush Magdala had brought along. After about twenty minutes, Rory fell back asleep. Alexander listened for Magdala’s breathing and decided she was sleeping deep enough she wouldn’t be disturbed. 

Plucking a traveling pack from his wardrobe, Alexander set to work filling it with things he would need for an extended stay in the Capitol. He’d work things out with Cosmo and the travelers; two days at the most would take care of business. He could grab his diamond dust and return home. Magdala wouldn’t need to worry about him, and he’d be back before she could mount a horse and come after him. 

Halfway through stuffing a wad of clothing into the bag, Alexander could suddenly see his garments more clearly. Stiffening, he paused to study the warm glow bouncing off the wardrobe walls and didn’t dare turn around.

“I can’t believe you.” The grogginess in Magdala’s voice had been burned up by a barely-contained rage. “ _Really_ , Alexander? After all we talked about?”

Alexander knew lying wasn’t an option at this point. “I have to, Magdala. I already told you.”

“ _No_ , dear. What you told me was you were staying put. That I didn’t have to worry about it. _That’s_ what you told me.”

He stood and spun around, leaving the bag discarded on the floor. “I need to bring him back, Magdala! I have to get that diamond dust!”

The glow of the candle cast a dark shadow over Magdala’s disbelief. “You were going to sneak off in the middle of the night without telling anyone? Really, Alexander?”

“You wouldn’t have let me go, otherwise!”

“Of course not! Because you’re going to _get yourself killed!_ ”

“I’m not afraid of death anymore!” Alexander’s voice strained as it grew louder. “But _Avory_ is! And he’s counting on me to bring him back!”

Rory’s wail split the air. Alexander and Magdala locked gazes in silence before Magdala slowly went to scoop the baby up. Rory’s cries hushed as she cradled and rocked him. “You may think you’re being selfless by thinking of your brother,” Magdala said in a steely tone, “but you’re only thinking of yourself right now.”

Alexander scoffed. 

“Look at him,” Magdala said, holding Rory out toward him. “This boy will be just another orphan in Andulhaven if you die. Look at the town. It wouldn’t be where it is today without your help. Think of Red, Alexander. Think of that precious boy, think of how much he admires and adores you, and then tell me you’d throw your life away in exchange for someone else. Now,” she continued, meeting the anger in Alexander’s gaze with a stern frown, “I’m _not_ telling you to stop trying. Far from it. In fact, I encourage you to find the resources to revive him. But, and I am getting tired of repeating myself, you mustn’t exchange your life for his. This gig in the Capitol is dangerous, and that’s that. I can’t believe you would run out on me like that. Especially after promising you’d stay.”

A tense silence followed Magdala’s words. Alexander maintained indignant eye-contact until he couldn’t bear to see her disappointment anymore. He dropped his gaze with a scowl. “I’m sorry.” It lacked conviction, and he knew it.

“I don’t want to hear apologies from you, Alexander. I want you to think things through for once in your life.”

“Fine. I take it back, then.” Alexander snatched his bag off of the floor. “I’m not sorry. And I have been thinking about this, for the past five years. I know what I’m doing.”

Then, with a flourish of pale blue magic, he disappeared.


	9. Day Nine: Darkness

“Ave?”

Alexander tugged at the blanket pulled snugly over his brother’s head. Avory cinched the blanket tighter and let out a muffled whimper.

“What’s wrong, Ave?” Alexander gave Avory a light shake. 

“Don’t...wanna talk about it.”

“Come on…” Alexander dug his hands underneath the blanket, trying to pry it away from his brother’s body. “You can tell me.”

A prolonged sniffle answered him. 

With a frown and a sigh, Alexander settled for scooping up the entire bundle, brother and blanket together. He lifted them off of the bed with a dramatic ‘whoosh’ sound and enveloped Avory in his arms. He took a guess at where the top of Avory’s head was and ruffled the hair buried beneath the cloth. 

“Stop, Alex...static.”

“Come out from there and you won’t have to worry about it.”

Avory finally complied, wriggling his way out of the thick fabric. His hair stuck out at odd angles, and it would have been funny were it not for the sorrow that tugged at his countenance. He pulled away from Alexander and crawled back into his bed. 

Before Avory could commit to laying down and ignoring him, Alexander caught him around the waist and pulled him into a side-hug. “Ave…”

“Please don’t make me talk about it,” Avory said, turning pleading eyes on Alexander.

“But if it’s making you sad, it’s better to tell someone, right?”

Avory shook his head. “Not this time.”

Alexander frowned. “You’re really not gonna tell me?”

With a shaky sigh, Avory pulled away from Alexander. “It’s dark, Alex. Time for bed.”

Alexander clenched his teeth and let his younger brother escape. He watched him curl up under the blanket again and turn his back, burying his head deep in his pillow. 

After a few minutes passed, Alexander determined Avory really wasn’t going to talk about it. His gaze dropped to the floor, where he studied a pattern in the wood and absentmindedly wondered if he’d done something wrong. 

“Okay...goodnight, Ave.”

“Night, Alex.”

“...” Alexander trudged back to his own bed, left with a sour feeling in his stomach. He watched Avory’s back for a moment before he finally blew out the candle.

In the darkness, Alexander sought out the black outline of his brother and studied the rise and fall of the blanket as he breathed.


	10. Day Ten: Relief

Moonlight illuminated the silent streets of the Capitol’s Gold Sector. Alexander’s body materialized next to the wrought-iron fence housing the Consulate Manor. He walked a few wary steps toward the gate, placed his hand on it, and pushed. 

Cosmo shivered underneath a frost-covered hedge. He perked up as Alexander approached, and then crossed his arms irritably. “Alexander! It’s about time! I expected you hours ago!”

Alexander watched his breath fog in the air before he responded, “I got caught up.”

“I’d say.” Cosmo tapped his foot and didn’t press any further. The lack of curiosity came as a great relief to Alexander. “Anyway, they’re waiting for you at the Clinic. I told them to reserve a spot for you. Marsei has it all set up.”

Alexander fell into step behind Cosmo, following him out into the streets. “It is...safe, right?” he asked, trying to sound indifferent.

“Well,” Cosmo hesitated, and Alexander abolished the dread that panged in his chest. “Honestly, I’m not sure what they’ll do to you. But they’re holding the experiment in the Gold Clinic, and it’s being observed by a member of the Council.”

“That’s what you said in your letter,” Alexander said. “You haven’t learned anything new since then?”

“I do have more news,” Cosmo said, chewing on the words slowly and thoughtfully. “They’ve upped the payment of diamond dust since they first arrived. It’s worth around 1,000 gold now. Ooh, but I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

Alexander’s heart pounded. “Why did they increase the reward?” Anxiety soured his excitement at receiving a higher payment.

“Not enough people signed up,” Cosmo said off-handedly. “Probably, just...a little put off by the whole thing.”

“Do they have a reason to be?” Alexander stopped and hugged his arms around himself. He couldn’t help thinking about the final image of Magdala, holding his son, her exasperation outlined in candlelight. Guilt knocked against his ribs like a feral wolf, but Alexander kept it caged. 

Cosmo threw a quick glance over his shoulder at Alexander. “Well...the whole thing is being conducted by a few Alabaster Party politicians, and after Matisse left the city, the Alabaster Party has been rather silent. This experiment is the first thing they’ve advertised publicly in a while, and, needless to say, a lot of people find it a little odd."

“And you’re sure they’ll actually pay me?” Alexander liked the sound of this less with every word that came out of Cosmo’s mouth.

“That’s what it said on the flyer.”

With increasing reluctance, Alexander followed Cosmo the rest of the way to the Clinic. They passed through thick wooden doors into a blindingly white lobby. Only two people waited for them, both pouring over paperwork behind a sleek desk. One, a young man in a white coat, sketched on a piece of bleached parchment with something akin to fury in his dark eyes. The other, a woman dressed in a golden suit, checked items on a list. Her straight brown hair framed her face, softening her angular jaw.

“Marsei,” Cosmo called as they entered. The woman looked up. Her eyes wrinkled slightly when she smiled.

“Cosmo. I was hoping you’d come eventually.” Marsei turned a scrutinizing gaze on Alexander, looking him up and down. “Is this the man you promised?”

Alexander held himself up, trying not to wither under her stare.

“Yes,” Cosmo said.

Marsei ran the tip of a quill down her list and stopped somewhere near the end. “Alexander Karollo?”

A jolt of disgust quivered through him as she spoke his full name aloud. Alexander nodded. 

“This way,” Marsei gestured to a door in the back of the lobby. “Thanks for your help, Cosmo.”

Alexander followed Marsei, turning to look one last time at Cosmo. Cosmo gave him an uneasy half-smile.

The hallways of the Clinic seemed to close in on Alexander as Marsei led him past waiting areas, offices, and patient rooms. Eerie quiet was broken only by the sound of their footsteps. Most of the rooms were dark, but the hallway glowed with a light that reflected off of its white stone walls. At last, Marsei stopped in front of a descending staircase labeled _Laboratory_. 

“The experiment is being held down this way,” she said, still wearing her pleasant smile. “There will be an area where you can leave your belongings. Don’t worry, they’ll be kept safe for the duration of your stay.”

Alexander lingered for a moment, eyes locked on the engraved sign next to the stairs. 

“It’s just at the bottom of the stairs, Mr. Karollo. Someone else will assist you once you’re down there.”

“Uh. Yeah.” Alexander took his first step down, and then another. With each footfall, he unconsciously repeated a mantra in his head. 

_Magdala was right. Magdala was right. Magdala was right._

Alexander half-registered a man greeting him at the bottom of the stairs. He introduced himself, but Alexander forgot his name almost immediately. He placed his bag in the designated holding area and followed the man into a small room just as white as the walls outside it. 

When an official-looking document was placed before him, Alexander finally snapped back into focus. 

“We’ll need to keep you here for about a week,” the man said. He’d been rambling about something before, but Alexander hadn’t been listening. “You’ll start to show symptoms within three or four days, and we’ll administer the antidote six hours after your first symptom. If all goes well, your symptoms should be completely gone after another day or so.”

“Wait,” Alexander cut him off, taking the document and scanning it ineffectively. “What exactly are you going to do to me?”

The man looked a bit off-put, and Alexander assumed he must have already explained it. “We’ll be testing a new poison antidote. So, first—”

“For which poison?”

Apparently, this information hadn’t been divulged already, for the man cleared his throat in obvious hesitation. “Kasparovian Hemlock.” 

Alexander drew in a breath, weighing his options. “That’s the one that can prevent you from using magic, right?” He knew the answer. Commonfolk called it _Hexlock_ for a reason. 

“Yes, that is one of the symptoms you may be experiencing.”

“And you’re not sure if this antidote will cure it?”

The man raised an eyebrow. “That is why we need people to test it on, Mr. Karollo.” He seemed to be getting restless. “Now, if you’ll sign your consent on that line there, I can get you settled in for the night. Dr. Zoss won’t be back until tomorrow morning, so we won’t be able to begin testing until then.”

“When will I be paid?” Alexander asked, cold desperation sharpening his tone. 

“At the end of the experiment, Mr. Karollo. Regardless of the results, diamond dust worth approximately 1,000 gold pieces will be transferred to you before your departure.”

“Is there a chance it will kill me?” Kasparovian Hemlock hadn’t directly killed anyone, but Alexander had heard the horror stories of sorcerers, clerics, and wizards alike falling in battle due to their sudden inability to cast magic. 

“Our testing environment has been designed with the safety of the subjects in mind,” the man said. 

Not very reassuring. 

The man offered Alexander an ink pen with which to sign his name. Alexander figured he’d be better off signing with his own blood. He touched the pen to the line.

He thought of Rory. And Red. And Andulhaven. He thought of how long it would take him to get back if he lost his magic for good. If he couldn’t use magic, his usefulness would dwindle to nothing. He’d be another helpless citizen. A father, but nothing more.

He wouldn’t be able to find more diamond dust. 1,000 gold’s worth only got him a fifth of the way there. If he lost his magic, he’d have to rely on someone else to get the rest of the dust for him. 

With that thought, he lifted the pen away from the paper.

“Actually, I’d like to leave,” he said, handing the document back to the nameless cleric. He made his way to the door without another word. 

“Mr. Karollo, we actually need to—”

“I never signed anything!” Alexander shouted through the doorway. “So you can take my name off the list!”

Without stopping to grab his bag, Alexander took a dimension door back to the Consulate Manor. 

Once again out in the cold darkness, Alexander nearly collapsed with relief. He drew his arms around himself and slowly sank to his knees, breathing deeply to calm his pounding heart. 

_Magdala was right_.

Of course she was. But how could he face her now?


	11. Day Eleven: Murmur

Alexander always awoke before Avory. Usually, he’d be halfway through his morning routine before Avory finally crept out of their shared bedroom. 

Today, ten minutes before they typically began their walk to the academy, Avory still hadn’t emerged. With a twinge of worry, Alexander set his satchel near the front door and ascended the stairs. With Aunt Lyra and Uncle Emile off at work already, he’d have to rouse Avory himself. 

“Ave?” Alexander cracked the bedroom door open and peered in, allowing for some amount of privacy in case Avory was in the middle of changing his clothes. He stepped into the room when a lump shifted under the covers on Avory’s bed. “Hey, we’re gonna be late.”

“...Don’t…” Fabric muffled Avory’s voice.

“What?” Alexander tried to pull back the covers, but Avory had burrowed deep. “Come on, we’ve got to go.”

“I don’t want to,” Avory said. “I feel sick.”

“Ave…” Alexander settled for sitting on the edge of his brother’s bed. “You know Emile says we have to go anyway. You can stay at the academy’s infirmary, but you can’t stay home alone.”

“Stay with me, then,” Avory said, finally poking his head above the blankets. “Please?”

“I can’t do that! We’ll get in trouble!”

Avory fell despondent, his blue-grey eyes darting away. His mouth wavered into a frown. “It would be better than going to school today.”

Alexander furrowed his brow. “Why? Academy’s boring, but it’s way better than being in trouble, especially with Uncle Emile.”

Avory shrugged.

“Aw, come on, Ave,” Alexander scooted a little closer to him. “What’s going on? Is it too hard for you? Sixth year starts out pretty tough, but it gets better.”

Soft brown locks stood up in staticky spikes as Avory shook his head against his blankets. 

“Well, what is it, then?”

Avory whispered something in a watery voice and proceeded to shove the blankets back over his head. Alexander’s shoulders slumped as he heard a sniffle from beneath the covers. 

Alexander placed a hand on top of Avory’s fabric-covered head and took a well-informed guess. “Are those kids making fun of you again?” he murmured. 

As soon as the words left Alexander’s mouth, Avory trembled with unpent sobs. “Yeah…”

Fury burned in Alexander’s stomach. He pushed himself off the bed and stood straight, his lips curled in disgust. “Who is it? I’ll make sure they never talk to you again! Better yet, I’ll punch them in the face so hard they won’t be able to open their mouths!”

“Don’t, Alex,” Avory whimpered. “You’ll get in trouble!”

“You were okay with getting in trouble to miss school,” Alexander frowned. “At least this way, it’d be worth it. Come on, I’ll walk you all the way to your classroom today. I’ll come pick you up from there, too. Then you can show me who to punch.”

“Please don’t punch anyone,” Avory whispered, his voice barely creeping through the blankets. “They’ll just hate me more. It’ll get worse.”

Alexander exhaled, trying to let go of his anger. It was hard to argue with Avory’s quiet plea. “Okay, but if I stay here with you, we have to talk. Okay? You have to tell me what’s been happening at school, and what those jerks have done to you.”

Avory made a noise that was half-whine, half-sigh. 

“I wanna help you, Ave. And fine, I won’t punch anybody. But we should at least tell your teacher.”

“...’kay.”

“Good.” Alexander nudged Avory’s shoulder. “Come on out of there. It sounds like you need a hug.”

Like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon, Avory sidled out from under the blankets and hit Alexander with a watery stare and a slightly-pouting lip. “I need a hug,” he confirmed, already leaning forward into Alexander’s arms. 

“We’ll figure this out, okay? Love you, Ave.”

“I love you too, Alex.”


	12. Day Twelve: Loss

Alexander, after much hesitation, plodded down the street toward Andulhaven’s Black Manor. Candlelight still glowed in his window, so he assumed Magdala was waiting for him. Or, maybe she’d left in such a hurry she hadn’t put the candle out. Either way, Alexander decided to avoid his room. He’d grab a few things from the kitchen and head off to get an early start on Andulhaven’s daily affairs. Exhaustion was no stranger to him. He’d worked after missing more than one night of sleep. 

A small face in one of the front-facing windows jarred Alexander out of his thoughts, and he stuttered to a halt. He squinted and recognized Red, who pulled away from the window and came bolting out the front door.

“Alexander!”

“Hush,” Alexander held a finger to his lips. “It’s still dark. You’ll wake the whole town yelling like that.” He fished for an explanation as to why he was out so early. Driving a knife of guilt into his stomach, he decided to turn it on Red. “Why are you awake? You should be in bed.” 

“Magdala told me to watch for you. She said you’d gone missing.”

The knife twisted. “Well.” He cleared his throat. “It’s alright. I didn’t plan on being gone for long.” The guilt simmered into self-loathing. 

“She said to tell you to come inside.” Red rocked on his heels. It looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes open.

Alexander gently spun Red around to face the mansion and nudged him in that direction. “Go to bed, buddy. I’ll come inside eventually.”

“No!” Alexander raised an eyebrow at this uncharacteristic indignance. “I’m not supposed to let you leave!”

“I’m not leaving. I’m staying in Andulhaven. Tell Magdala to stop being so paranoid.”

Red whirled back around. “I won’t leave you! It’s my job!”

With a huff that billowed in the frigid air, Alexander said, “Red, it’s cold. You’re going to freeze if you stay out here with me.”

“That’s why _you_ need to come _inside_.” Red crossed his arms in a very impressive imitation of Magdala. “I’ll follow you wherever you g-go,” A shiver interrupted his sentence, and he appended, “so I hope it’s somewhere warm.”

Alexander did his best to ignore the tumult of guilt swirling inside of him. Magdala didn’t know he was back yet. He much preferred prolonging their encounter to enduring whatever wrath she’d set aside for him. He doubted it could get much worse. So, he took Red by the hand and pulled him through a Dimension Door to a place he knew Magdala wasn’t: her own house. 

“Why are you running away?” Red immediately curled up on Magdala’s couch.

Alexander prepared the fireplace. He didn’t say anything until a warm glow enveloped the room and he’d taken a seat next to Red. Alexander’s guilty conscience flared as Red leaned his head against his shoulder. 

“Sometimes, when you’re in trouble, it’s easier to run,” Alexander said.

Red peered up at him. “Are you in trouble?”

“You couldn’t tell?” Alexander exhaled a laugh. “Yeah. I am.”

“Magdala said she was worried. She didn’t seem mad.”

“She’s very good at hiding it. Trust me, she’s livid.”

Red yawned and nestled into Alexander’s shoulder. “So, why are you in trouble?”

Swallowing down his growing trepidation, Alexander sighed. He figured he owed it to Red to tell him the truth. “Well, it’s a long story. Do you think you’ll be able to stay awake long enough to hear it?”

“If it’s an interesting story.”

“Hah. Picky, are you?”

“No! But I _am_ tired.”

“I know.” Alexander ruffled Red’s hair. “I’ll try to shorten it up a bit.”

“Okay.”

With a slow exhale, Alexander leaned his head back against the couch. His hand remained on top of Red’s head. The boy didn’t complain. “Did I ever tell you I had a younger brother?” He decided to start at the beginning.

“No. What’s his name?”

“His name was Avory.”

Catching the meaning behind Alexander’s words, Red shifted a little closer. Alexander moved his arm to the other side of Red, pulling him into a side-hug.

“We lived in Vallehearth when I was younger.”

“What?” Red’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know you were from Vallehearth!”

“Yeah. I only moved to Varia three years ago.”

“ _What?_ ” 

“Uh-huh.”

“But you can’t use magic in Vallehearth, right?”

“It’s illegal,” Alexander said with a hint of pride in his voice. “That’s why I came here. But before I did, I lived in a big city with my aunt and uncle. Avory and I went to a huge, really fancy school. School is a lot different in Vallehearth, too.”

“Andulhaven will have a school soon.”

“It will. You’ll be able to go and learn how to read and write. Anyway,” Alexander said, trying to pull his story back on track, “I can tell you more about Vallehearth later.”

“Right now you’re telling me why you’re in trouble,” Red helpfully reminded him. 

A renewed twinge of anxious guilt struck Alexander. “Yes. Well, Avory and I were very close. He was a very good younger brother.”

“I’ll bet you were a good big brother. Like I am to Rory.”

A frown tried to tug at the corners of Alexander’s mouth as his stomach did a flip. He pressed on. “I cared for Avory a lot. I always tried to help him when he was feeling sad. But, one day…” Alexander swallowed. “One day, he died. And I was so sad, I didn’t know what to do. I thought my aunt and uncle would blame me.”

“So you ran away?” Red guessed. 

Alexander nodded. “Yeah. I ran away. It took me a long time, but eventually, I came here.”

“But why did you run away this time?” Red poked at the hem of Alexander’s clothing absentmindedly. “Why is Magdala mad at you?”

A shiver trickled down Alexander’s spine. “I’ve decided I’m going to try to bring him back,” he murmured. “Before we visited the City of Depths, I had no idea it was even possible. Well, it takes a lot of special ingredients to bring someone back to life. And so, last night, I was going to go gather some of those materials, but Magdala told me not to. I...left, even after promising I’d stay.”

“Why’d Magdala tell you not to?”

“She thought it would be dangerous.” Alexander paused and sighed, “It was. I should have listened to her.”

“Did you get hurt?” The concern in Red’s voice cut Alexander to his core.

“No, buddy. I left before I could get hurt.”

“But you didn’t get the materials?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Red scrunched his face into a concerned frown. “Oh, no… It’s a good thing that you’re safe, though. I would be really sad if you died, too.”

Alexander nodded, his voice suddenly dying in his throat.

“I think it would be really nice to meet Avory. And I think I wanna help you find the special things you need. You had to use a lot of special things to bring me back to life, right? You probably could have used them for Avory, but you used them for me, instead. I...” Red bowed his head. “I’m sorry. You’ve been missing your brother for a long time.”

“Don’t apologize.” Alexander pushed past the strain in his voice. “I am so glad we were able to bring you back.”

“I’m glad, too. It was scary being dead.” Red looked back up, and Alexander had to avoid his gaze. “Do you think Avory is scared, too?”

Alexander closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. When he didn’t answer, Red put his hand on Alexander’s arm and stroked it like it was a cat. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Don’t hold it in, remember? That hurts you.”

Alexander sobbed out a laugh. “You’re right, buddy.”

“We can talk to Magdala together. Sometimes it’s easier to be in trouble when you have a friend.”

Alexander squeezed Red closer, and Red wrapped his arms around Alexander’s middle to properly snuggle him. “Thank you,” Alexander whispered, “but I think I should talk to her on my own.”

“Right now?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Are you scared?”

Letting out a shaky laugh, Alexander wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Yeah. I just know how disappointed she is. That’s worse than her being angry.”

“Hmm…” Red relaxed his hug and curled up in the crook of Alexander’s arm, eyes closed. “Bet she still loves you, though.”

Alexander’s mouth pressed into a grim smile. “I sure hope so, buddy.”


	13. Day Thirteen: Forgiveness

Light filtered in through Magdala’s window by the time Alexander woke. A dull headache throbbed in the back of his skull, and his back ached from sleeping in an odd position. Red snored softly, still curled up next to him. Alexander gently nudged his shoulder.

“Red?”

“...Hmmm?”

“We’ve got to go soon. Magdala’s probably doubly worried now that we’re both gone.”

Red snuggled in closer. “...tired…”

“I know, buddy. Let’s get you back into your own bed, okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

Smiling down at Red’s mop of curly hair, Alexander looped an arm underneath his legs and swept him onto his lap. He pushed himself to his feet and hefted Red up a little higher. He weighed much more than Rory, but Alexander found he had no trouble carrying the young boy. Red leaned into Alexander’s shoulder with a tiny smile. 

Figuring he had no excuses left for stalling, Alexander opened a Dimension Door directly to the mansion’s living room and stepped through. A few of the children sat in huddled conversation on the other side of the room. One of them, a teen by the name of Yarrow, raised her head as Alexander entered the room.

“There you are! Both of you! We’ve been looking for you for almost half an hour!”

Alexander winced. “It’s alright. We didn’t intend to be gone for very long.”

“Magdala’s ticked off,” Yarrow said. “She muttered to herself the entire time she was making breakfast this morning.”

“Where is she now?” Alexander’s heart danced to a quicker beat as he glanced toward the kitchen.

“In your room. With Rory.”

Alexander nodded. “Thanks, Yarrow. I’ll let her know I’m back.”

“What about Red?”

“I’ll put him back to bed. Don’t worry about him.” Alexander ascended the staircase before Yarrow could pester him with any more questions. She was right at the age where she realized Alexander wasn’t so much older than her. She, along with a few of the others close to adulthood, tended to give him the most trouble.

At the top of the stairs, Alexander strode past the door to his room as if it were a wildcat, laying in wait. He rounded the corner of the hallway and counted three doors down to Red’s room. Luckily, the door was unlatched, so Alexander only had to nudge it open with his foot. 

He tucked Red into his bed and smoothed down his curly hair. “Sleep well, buddy,” he whispered. “Wish me luck.”

Red responded with a hint of a smile.

Taking a deep breath, Alexander backed out of the room and eased the door shut. For a moment, he considered leaving the mansion and getting right to work in the town hall. But, he knew he’d be distracted if he tried to work. Besides, the prospect of Magdala finding him and, gods forbid, scolding him in front of Nephith and Caltan was too much to bear. No, he needed to get this confrontation out of the way.

Of course, that didn’t make it any easier for him to raise his hand and knock on his closed bedroom door. His fist hovered, frozen midair before he finally forced two swift knocks. 

“Just a moment, dear,” Magdala called from inside. 

Faintly, Alexander heard Rory babbling. His heart pounded louder than the knock of his knuckles on the wood.

Finally, the doorknob turned and the door cracked open. “Yes, dea— _oh_.” Magdala’s pleasant expression darkened like a raincloud covering the sun. “You’re back.”

Alexander offered a single nod. Any words he might have said dried up before they could escape his mouth.

“Sooner than you originally planned.”

Alexander nodded again and averted his gaze. 

“Well,” Magdala opened the door and stepped aside, “come in then, Alexander, and explain yourself.”

Head bowed, Alexander trudged into his own room like a criminal awaiting his execution. He sat on his bed, back arched, hands folded between his knees. 

Magdala retrieved Rory from his crib and then stood directly in front of Alexander. “I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk.”

As the guilt became too much for Alexander to handle, some of it evaporated into a mist of rage. “You were right, okay?” He glared up at her, forcing himself to endure her disappointed scowl. “It was dangerous! Is that what you want to hear? It was dangerous, and I never should have gone! I made a mistake! You should be used to that by now.”

He heard the slow release of Magdala’s exhale. He tore his gaze away again.

After several seconds of silence, Magdala said, “Did they hurt you?”

“No.”

“Did you get the diamond dust you needed?”

“No.” Alexander breathed a strained sigh. “No, I didn’t get anything out of it. The whole thing was _pointless_.”

“Look at me, Alexander.”

He kept his head bowed.

“Don’t make me crouch. I’ll never get back up.”

Reluctantly, Alexander lifted his chin. “What?”

“I know what you’re thinking. And I want you to get it out of your head that this somehow makes you irredeemable. I’ve already forgiven you, dear. I forgave you the moment you left.”

Alexander dropped his head back down. 

“I know this isn’t easy for you. I know how much you want your brother back.”

“It isn’t just that,” Alexander muttered. “I, I want him back. But...he shouldn’t have died. He shouldn’t have died! I was supposed to protect him. He shouldn’t have died.”

The bed dipped as Magdala sat down next to him. She set Rory in her lap and wrapped an arm around Alexander’s shoulders. “You blame yourself for Avory’s death.”

“It’s my fault. I should have been better.”

Magdala rubbed a hand up and down Alexander’s back. Rory grabbed hold of Alexander’s shirt and tugged on it. They sat like that for a while, and gradually Alexander leaned his head to rest on Magdala’s shoulder. 

“I told Red to wait for you this morning,” Magdala said. “I’m assuming you found him?”

“He found me.”

“And you brought him back safely?”

“He’s asleep in his room right now.”

Magdala hummed. “Why didn’t you come to me as soon as you got back?”

“I was scared,” Alexander admitted. “I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“I _was_ mad,” Magdala said. “Oh, I was furious. But I know desperation and heartache can make people do foolish things. I know that well. I was mostly scared for you. I didn’t want you to get yourself hurt.”

Alexander released a shuddering sigh. “I’m sorry.” 

“You’re safe now, dear. That’s all that matters.”

Comfortable silence enveloped them. Magdala continued to rub Alexander’s back, even as his tears wet the shawl around her shoulders.


	14. Day Fourteen: Silence

“Maybe if we sneak in the back window, they won’t see us?”

Alexander looked down at Avory, who had latched onto his shirt sleeve. “We can try it. It might be kind of loud though. You know how hard that window is to open.”

“I know…” Avory frowned. “But if we go in the front door, they’ll see!”

“We could go to Stephan’s house and stay there for a little while. His mom might be able to fix us up.”

“But Uncle Emile will come looking for us. Remember last time?”

Alexander came to a halt as their aunt and uncle’s house came into view. “Well! We gotta think of something, and fast.” As he said it, the front door opened and Lyra stepped out onto the porch. She spotted them and waved them closer. 

“What do we do?” Avory whimpered. “What do we do, Alex?”

“We—we just… We have to just not say anything.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing. Just don’t say anything, even if they ask.” Alexander grabbed Avory’s hand and pulled him forward. 

“Oh, okay… whatever you say, Alex.”

Lyra went back inside the house before they got to the porch, so Alexander did his best to usher Avory up the stairs before Lyra saw them. However, Emile was already descending the staircase, and he caught Alexander by the shoulder as he tried to run past. 

“Hold it.” Emile’s eyes narrowed. “What happened to your face?”

Alexander looked back at Avory and gave him a pointed look. Obediently, Avory said nothing, and neither did Alexander. 

Emile scoffed. “What—? You’re all beat up, too.” He used his hand to turn Avory’s head from side to side to get a better look at him. “Did you get into a fight or something?”

A shiver sped down Alexander’s spine, but he ignored it and bit his tongue. 

“One of you is going to have to explain,” Emile snapped. “Did you fight each other?”

Alexander had to shake his head at that. No. He would never hurt Avory. 

“Well? Who did you fight?”

With a tug on Avory’s arm, Alexander managed to slip past Emile and up to the top of the stairs. 

“Stay up there, then!” Emile shouted after them. “You can come down for supper once you tell me what you did!”

Closed in the safety of their room, Alexander collapsed on his bed. 

“Alex…” Avory lingered by the door, rubbing at his arm. “We have to tell them. I’m hungry.”

“No!” Alexander shot up, gesturing emphatically. “If they know I beat up those kids, I’ll get in huge trouble! You can’t tell them. Please, Ave. They—they have to feed us eventually, right?”

Avory frowned and pouted at the floor. “Okay, Alex...whatever you say.”


	15. Day Fifteen: Damage

A crack of thunder startled Alexander awake. At the same time, a small hand touched his arm, and a soft voice whispered, “Alexander?”

“Mm?” He squinted in the darkness, forcing his eyes to stay open so he wouldn’t fall back into the embrace of sleep. “Red? What is it?”

“It’s storming.”

“It’s okay, buddy,” Alexander sighed, “it’s just a storm.”

The outline of Red’s body shifted back and forth. “It’s loud. And it’s cold outside, it shouldn’t be thundering.”

Alexander listened to the rain pattering on his window. “Mm. Warm enough to rain. It’s almost spring.”

“It’s scary.”

A flash of lightning followed by a particularly rattling clap of thunder shook the room. Red’s grip on Alexander’s arm tightened, and across the room, Rory cried out.

Alexander grumbled. “Looks like I’m awake, now.” 

Red tagged along like a lost puppy as Alexander pushed himself out of bed and lumbered over to the crib. He withdrew Rory, cradling him and trying to calm his crying. Another roar of thunder only heightened his wails. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Alexander tried. His ability to calm a hysterical infant was definitely lacking. Not only that, but Red had also latched onto his leg after the last thunderous bout. 

Outside, the flashes of lighting picked up, crackling wildly and illuminating Rory’s distraught face in strobes. Alexander looked from his son down to Red, who had buried his face in Alexander’s side. “Alright,” Alexander said. “Okay, let’s...come on…” Shuffling to accommodate for Red’s attachment to him, Alexander moved back over to his bed. Careful not to jostle Rory, he pushed back the blankets on his bed and sat down in the center. “Come on, Red." He patted the mattress next to him. Red scrambled up and immediately snuggled up to Alexander. Setting Rory in his lap, Alexander reached for the blanket and drew it around them. A flash of lightning revealed a warm cocoon of the three boys, huddled together.

With Red’s help, Alexander eventually got Rory to calm down. The rain petered out, the rumbles of thunder grew less and less frequent, and Red snored quietly in the crook of Alexander’s arm. Rory, thankfully, fell asleep as well. 

Alexander watched out his window. In the remaining few flashes of lightning, he saw the rain turn to snow. It drifted down in chunks, accompanied by a whistling wind. The sound of it sent a shiver down his spine. Without the company of his two kids, it would have been altogether eerie. But the sight of Rory and Red, snuggled comfortably next to him, warmed the otherwise cold night. 

He didn’t remember falling asleep. Somehow, he’d managed to sleep five hours sitting up with a baby and a six-year-old in his lap. Outside, in the gray morning light, Alexander glimpsed the tops of snow-covered trees. Taking a second look, he thought he counted fewer trees than normal outside the mansion. 

Alexander maneuvered Red so he was laying on the bed instead of in his lap. Then, shifting Rory into one arm, he stood and approached the window.

Every inch of every tree was encased in a crystalline shell of ice. Underneath a thin layer of snow, huge branches littered the ground beneath the trees, pulled down by the heaviness of the ice. Those branches that remained drooped, reaching downward with their boughs bowed. 

Alexander had never seen anything like it before. Thunder and lightning during a snowstorm had been strange enough, but this—?

The trees would never recover from this. Even worse, unfinished buildings littered half of Andulhaven, while the other half contained houses overstuffed with people. This would set back their progress several days. 

He sighed. Always one thing after another. He only hoped Nephith or Caltan had a solution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About a week ago, a bad ice storm hit the area where I live, taking down tons of branches. Lots of people lost power. Needless to say, I was inspired.


	16. Day Sixteen: Safety

“That building inspector would drop dead if he saw this.”

“Briarwood? Huh. Maybe we should invite him back over.”

“You remember his name?”

“You didn’t? He repeated it every ten seconds like it was some important title.”

“I tried to block that entire day out of my mind.” Alexander shook his head good-naturedly at Nephith, grateful for the familiar banter. 

Caltan, ever-focused, was actually taking inventory of the damage done to the half-built home in front of them. He stepped back around to Nephith and Alexander with a slightly furrowed brow. “A branch took out two essential supports for the roof,” he said. “It will take some time to repair, but we should be able to salvage the building.”

Alexander nodded contemplatively. “Good. We can leave that to you and the monks, right?”

“I  _ am _ the Head Builder,” Caltan confirmed with a knowing grin. 

A short laugh made it out of Alexander’s mouth. Similarly, Nephith chuckled. Caltan only smiled. 

The three friends carried on from building to building, assessing damage as they went, and moving ice-coated branches out of the pathways where they could. As they worked their way to the town’s center, the trees thinned, leaving a haven of untouched buildings in the town square.

Before they could return to the more damaged sections of Andulhaven, a young girl emerged from a street in front of them. When she noticed them, she ran in their direction, gasping frantically.

“Help!” she wailed, grabbing onto Nephith’s shirt once she was close enough. “My dad’s stuck!” 

With a glance at Nephith and Caltan, Alexander said, “Lead us to him.”

On the outskirts of town, near the site of the new road to the windmill, trees clustered together where they hadn’t yet been cleared for the path through the forest. Massive branches littered the ground, blocking the way to a house amidst the trees. One thick branch had gone right through the roof of the house and had caused it to lean on its foundation. 

“He’s in there!” The girl said, pointing at the tattered house. “The branch came down this morning. I crawled out through a little hole, but dad’s stuck under the branch!”

“We’ll get him out,” Nephith said, trying to unlatch the girl’s fingers from her shirt. “Wait out here. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

Caltan had already begun work on removing branches. A small path to the front of the house had been forged by the girl on her way out, it seemed. Without any care for the difficulty of the path, Alexander trudged his way along it, breaking off frozen twigs as he went. As he got closer, he could see through a hole in the side of the house. A man lay trapped beneath a study branch, laying on his back. 

“Hello?” Alexander called, hoping for some kind of response. 

The man lifted his head, but if he said anything it was too quiet for Alexander to hear. 

“Caltan! Nephith! He’s close to the front!”

In a collaborative effort, Alexander, Nephith, and Caltan widened the hole enough to get inside the house. Caltan lifted the branch off of the man and Nephith pulled him to his feet. The front door had been crumpled under one of the branches, so they had to guide the man out of the house through the hole they’d come in through. 

Once they’d reunited the small family and sent them in the direction of the town hall to discuss insurance for their house, Alexander and his friends took a step back to examine the ruins of the forest.

“The building of the road will have to be postponed,” Caltan said.

“Everything will have to be postponed,” Nephith huffed. “Now we have even more people who need houses and fewer houses to put them in.”

Alexander closed his eyes and massaged the tension in between his eyes. “How are we supposed to handle this?” A sudden pressure crashed down on him. “The people of Andulhaven are relying on us, but what are we even supposed to do?”

“We get to work,” Caltan said, reaching for another branch. “We clear away what’s broken so we can keep Andulhaven’s people safe.”

“Let’s talk to some of the people from the City of Depths,” Nephith suggested. “Some of them should be willing to help. Realistically, we have enough hands in the town to get this cleared up in a day or two.”

“I feel like we can’t catch a break,” Alexander said. “I just want some peace.”

Caltan smiled and clapped Alexander on the shoulder. “No one was hurt,” he said, “let that count for something. It could have been worse.”

“It could have,” Alexander reluctantly agreed. “It definitely could have been worse.”


	17. Day Seventeen: Delight

“He’s in a great mood today, dear,” Magdala said as she passed Rory off to Alexander. “And I don’t mean that sarcastically, either.”

“Good. It’s been a tough day.” Alexander accepted his son and turned back to Nephith and Caltan, who’d come with him to lunch at _Magdala’s Pies and So-Forth._ Caltan offered the baby a wide smile. 

To Alexander’s surprise, Rory smiled back.

“He is in a good mood,” he said. “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him smiling.”

“You’ve missed out on a lot of good moments, Alexander,” Magdala said with a sympathetic hum. “I’ve even gotten him laughing before.”

“You’ve never seen your own son laugh?” Nephith raised an eyebrow. “That is sad.”

Alexander wrinkled his nose at her. “You know exactly why I haven’t. I don’t exactly have the free time to see him when he’s not sleeping or crying.”

“Sit down, sit down.” Magdala ushered the three of them to a table. “Would you like some biscuits? There’s some fresh from the oven. I can also whip up a meat pie or two if you’d like.”

“That sounds good, Magdala, thanks,” Alexander said. His gaze traveled past her and to a mechanical, fox-like creature sitting by the counter. The clockwork blinked back, tilting his head with a trilling sound. “Come here, Sage!” he called.

Sage trilled again and bounded over, putting his paws up on Alexander’s leg to be petted. Alexander gave him a generous rub in between the ears. 

“Now, you can’t hog him,” Magdala scolded. “He’s got to help me make the pies.”

“I thought Red helped you with the pies,” Alexander said.

“Oh, no. He watches the oven and helps me measure ingredients. He’s too young to handle the pies.”

Nephith snorted a laugh. “Your only help is a six-year-old and a...whatever Sage is?” Sage huffed indignantly. “Where’s...uh, Starchild?”

“ _Skyflower_ has been helping out at _Chu Chu’s Chow_ ever since the storm.” Magdala seemed more than a little miffed at this. “Their restaurant sustained minor damage, so I guess they needed the extra hands.

“We fixed _Chu Chu’s_ up two days ago,” Caltan said.

“Well.” Magdala rolled her eyes. “Apparently they still need help.” She sighed and turned toward the kitchen. “Anyway, I’ll have your food out shortly. Come on, Sage.”

With one last nuzzle of Alexander’s hand, Sage leaped back into action, trotting after Magdala into the kitchen.

“So,” Nephith said once they’d gone, “you’ve really never seen him laugh before.”

Alexander glanced down at Rory, who he’d sat snugly in his lap. The tiny face still held a smile. “No...I only see him at night. He’s usually tired by then, or screaming at me.”

“Let’s make him laugh,” Nephith said. “I’d like to see it. He looks so grumpy all the time. I mean, it’s to be expected, considering he’s _your_ son.” She smirked at Alexander.

Alexander scowled.

“See? Exactly like you.”

Caltan leaned forward and reached a finger out toward Rory. “There were a lot of babies at the monastery. They laughed all the time.”

“Well, fine.” Alexander grumped, his mood growing sourer and sourer as the conversation went on. “I’ll make him laugh, then.”

“Not with a face like that, you won’t,” Nephith snickered.

Alexander sent an icy glare her way before carefully smoothing his expression out. He turned Rory so he was facing him and stood him up in his lap. “Hey, Rory. Hey.” He stared at his son, momentarily getting down the ‘I can’t believe I’m actually a father’ rabbit hole. Unlike his past excursions along that particular route, this time it was filled with happy memories rather than gruesome ones. 

After a prolonged silence, Alexander blinked a few times and glanced at his company. “How are you supposed to make a baby laugh?”

“Do you really think I would know?” Nephith deadpanned. 

Alexander looked to Caltan.

“You could try making faces at him,” Caltan suggested. “Some of the older monks were really good at that.”

Alexander raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, like that,” Nephith said.

“I thought you didn’t know anything about this, Nephith.”

“I know a funny face when I see one.”

“Shut up, will you?”

Rory cried out, his eyes scrunching closed in the beginnings of a wail.

“Well, that is the opposite of laughing,” Nephith muttered through a poorly-concealed grin. 

“Hey, hey,” Alexander said, dropping the volume of his voice exponentially. “It’s okay. Sorry I yelled, but Nephith deserved it.”

“He can’t understand you,” Caltan said. 

Alexander shot him a glare. “Neither of you are helping.” He bounced Rory on his knee until he calmed down. “There you go. Not so bad, huh? It’s okay, Nephith won’t be mean to you. I’ll make sure of it.”

“He’s still not laughing.”

“I can’t make a funny face if that’s what you’re waiting for.”

“Sure you can,” Caltan said. “Anyone can.”

“It won’t be any more embarrassing than the other things you do,” Nephith helpfully provided.

“The door is right there, Nephith. Go have your lunch at _Chu Chu’s._ ”

“I’m not feeling violent enough to eat there.”

“Then be quiet, will you?” Alexander huffed. Rory had reached for his hair while Alexander wasn’t looking. Alexander grimaced as Rory gave it a good yank. “Ow, hey!”

“That was a pretty funny face,” Caltan said. “Try making it less angry.”

Alexander tried to ease the frustration out of his brow and curl his mouth upward.

“Terrifying.”

“Good,” Caltan insisted. “Now stick out your tongue.”

Feeling the situation couldn’t get any weirder, Alexander reluctantly stuck out his tongue. Rory offered him a smile and yanked on his hair some more. Alexander mirrored the smile, breaking his funny face. “You are very cute,” he said, leaning in to give his hair some slack. Rory responded by letting go of his hair and smacking him right on the nose.

Nephith burst into laughter. 

Due to the absurdity of it all, Alexander couldn’t help but join her. Caltan chuckled, too, and soon the laughter from the three of them filled the dining area of the bakery.

Rory grabbed onto Alexander’s chin, eyes shining as he smiled. Then, a tiny giggle bubbled out of him. 

Alexander froze. He tilted his head forward and watched as Rory laughed, still thoroughly enthralled by Alexander’s hair and face. 

“He’s laughing,” Alexander said. “Look, he’s laughing.”

“Congratulations,” Caltan said. Nephith continued to snort with laughter.

Alexander only gazed at his son, filled with overwhelming joy. _He’s my son._ The thought struck him as though he’d only just realized it. _I’m his father._

And he was going to make sure his son grew up in a world filled with laughter.


	18. Day Eighteen: Fall

Alexander sat cross-legged on his bed, hugging his arms over his growling stomach. Across the room, Avory lay face-down on top of his blankets. Even though he made no sound, Alexander could tell by the way his shoulders shook every so often that he was crying. 

Avory had given part of his lunch away to those horrible brats, he recalled. With a pang of guilt, Alexander realized how hungry his brother must be. And Uncle Emile had-- 

Anger boiling, Alexander exhaled a harsh breath through his nose as he thought of his uncle. He might not feed them breakfast, either, if Alexander never told him what happened. Maybe not dinner the next night either, but Lyra would eventually stop him. At least, Alexander could hope. 

Glancing at Avory again, Alexander rubbed at a sore spot on his arm. Avory had gotten hurt, too, before Alexander had the chance to intervene. Neither of them compared to the other two boys, but Avory had taken a nasty blow to the face. Emile probably wouldn’t let him get it fixed until he knew what happened.

Alexander sighed. “Hey...Ave?”

“Yeah?” came the pitiful reply.

“I’m...gonna tell Uncle Emile what happened.”

Sniffling, Avory raised his head and cried, “No! No, Alex, he’ll punish us!”

“No,” Alexander shook his head. “Not us. Just me. None of it was your fault, Ave. You won’t get punished. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Alex, please,” Avory hiccuped, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“They won’t,” Alexander said, trying to sound convincing. “I already got hurt. They’ll pick a different punishment, Ave. Maybe I’ll have to stay inside for a week except for school. Or maybe they’ll make me clean the house.” Either of those options sounded like paradise compared to the alternative. 

Sliding off of his bed with a wince, Alexander knelt on the floor and rested his chin on Avory’s mattress, close to his brother’s head. “I’ve got to do it, Ave. You’re hungry and hurting. We’ve got to get you fixed up.”

“But what about you?”

“I’ll get to eat, too. And Lyra will probably fix me up. I can’t go to the academy looking like this. She wouldn’t allow it.”

“I’m scared, Alex.”

“Don’t be scared, buddy. I’ll be alright. Okay?”

Avory reached out to touch Alexander’s hand. “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you, too, Ave. You’re the most important person in the world to me. Don’t forget that, okay?”

“Okay.”

Taking a deep breath, Alexander pushed himself to his feet. He gave Avory’s hair a ruffle and then backed away toward the door. His heart pounded so loud he feared Avory might be able to hear it. “Well. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, Alex.” Avory’s voice wobbled with tears. 

Alexander steeled himself. Everything would be okay. As long as Avory was fine, everything else would be, too. Regardless of the consequences, Alexander would always be willing to take the fall for his little brother. 

That didn’t make his descent down the staircase any easier. 


	19. Day Nineteen: Lightness

“That’s the last of them,” Caltan said, brushing his hands together as he stepped away from his group of monks to join Nephith and Alexander. Behind him, the final branch had been added to the piles of fallen limbs on the edges of Andulhaven.

“Great. We can get back on track with building, right?” Alexander asked. 

“Yes.”

“Let’s take a moment to rest, first,” Nephith suggested. “We’ve earned it.”

At her hip, a young kitsune with orange, perked ears nodded. “Can we have a party?” she suggested meekly. “I’ve heard of them, but I’ve never been to one before.”

Twilight, one of the orphans rescued from the City of Depths, had been a great help with the clearing of the branches. She’d taken a shine to Nephith immediately, though Alexander couldn’t begin to guess why. 

“We’d have to plan it,” Alexander said. “I think we’d better just rest.”

“Come on, Alexander,” Nephith said, and Alexander raised an eyebrow at her. “It wouldn’t hurt. There are other people who can put something together, we just have to ask them to.”

Nephith, of all people, was making an argument for having a party? Alexander shook his head. “Alright, but I’m taking the rest of today off.”

“Let’s all rest,” Caltan agreed. “Tomorrow, we can have a party.”

To Alexander’s surprise, preparations had already begun the next morning, and by noon, the town square sported streamers and musicians. A growing crowd gathered outside the bakery, where Magdala passed out cups of warm drinks to help stave off the cold. As the third month of the year had begun, warmer weather was right around the corner. Most of Andulhaven’s residents wore coats with reluctance, as if dressing lighter would encourage the sun to burn brighter. 

Getting in line outside of Magdala’s bakery, Alexander spotted Twilight. Nephith must have been off somewhere else because Twilight’s brows were knit in discomfort, and she looked a little lost. Alexander waved as she looked at him and she trotted over.

“Did Nephith leave you behind?” Alexander asked. 

“A party is very loud,” Twilight said, covering her tall ears with her hands.

Alexander nodded. “Yeah. They usually are. That’s why I don’t enjoy them very much.”

She turned wide eyes on him, as if she were under the impression that everyone enjoyed parties. “Oh?”

“I prefer to be alone,” Alexander admitted. “Crowds make me anxious.”

“Anxious?” she repeated. “But you’re always in front of a crowd.”

“I know. Believe me, I’d prefer not to be. Although, it is better than paperwork.”

“Paperwork?”

“Yeah. We have to write a lot of notes about what happens in Andulhaven. We have to copy down forms for people to fill out, too. It’s exhausting.”

Twilight spun in a slow circle, taking in everything the party had to offer. “Are there games?”

“Yeah. Usually, a party has games.” He grimaced. “I played in an onion-eating contest during the last party we had. It...wasn’t pretty.”

Twilight twitched her head to the side. “Could we have a bacon-eating contest?”

“Hah. You’d win that one, huh?”

“Yes. I love bacon.”

Alexander smiled at her and then stepped forward to keep up with the line. He wondered if Magdala needed help passing out drinks. The line was crawling. 

“I only heard stories of parties before. Some of the kids would talk about going with their families.” She blinked up at Alexander. “I never had family, either.”

Alexander glanced away for a second and cleared his throat. “Well. You can make a family here, in Andulhaven.”

“How? I don’t have any brothers or sisters.”

“They don’t have to be related by blood,” Alexander said. “Your family is just the people you really care about.”

“Oh.” Twilight nodded. “I care about Nephith.”

“There, see? She’s like family, even though you’re not related by blood.”

“Blood family...” Twilight sighed. “I don’t remember them.” She tilted her head hopefully in Alexander’s direction. “Can we be family?”

A smile pulled at Alexander’s lips. “Of course. I have a lot of family in Andulhaven. Like Magdala. She’s not my blood grandmother, but she’s like a grandmother to me. And Nephith and Caltan are like siblings.” His smile faded. 

“Do you have blood family?”

Alexander tugged on the hems of his sleeves, unprepared for the crash of melancholy that hit him with that question. “I do.”

“Here?”

“No, not in Andulhaven.”

“Where?”

“They’re...” Alexander paused, unsure if Twilight even knew of Vallehearth or any of the countries across the oceans. In fact, before they rescued her, Alexander doubted she’d been outside of the City of Depths. “They’re far away,” he decided to say.

“What do you remember about them? I wish I could remember my blood family.” Twilight had stepped a little closer to Alexander as a chilly wind gusted past them. “Do you have any good stories? I like stories.”

“Good stories?” Alexander would have laughed if it wasn’t so depressing. “Hm...” He swallowed back the desire to run from this conversation and forced himself to somehow make it positive for Twilight. “My little brother and I...we always used to have great adventures.”

“Adventures?” 

“Yeah. We’d find the biggest hill to climb, the clearest river to swim in, and the darkest forest to explore. He never went by himself. He always wanted me to go with him.”

“Was he scared to go alone?”

“He might have been. But mostly, we really enjoyed each other’s company.”

“What’s his name?”

Alexander ignored the uneasy shiver that sped down his spine. “His name is Avory.”

“Is Avory as old as me?”

Alexander actually had to think about that. “He was...thirteen the last time I saw him. A little older than you.”

“Why did he leave?”

Alexander struggled to breathe past his constricting throat. He took a moment to calm himself, focusing on the line of people and the warm scent of cider. 

“I’m the one who left,” he managed to say. “I never should have left.”

“Do you miss him?” Twilight’s hand brushed Alexander’s arm. When he looked down, he saw that she was almost leaning against him.

“Are you cold, Twilight?” he asked, hoping to deflect the conversation away from his sensitive past. 

“A little.”

“Well, we can take our drinks inside the bakery. I’m sure Magdala will let us.”

“Okay.”

They trudged onward until they finally reached the front of the line. Magdala grinned when she saw Alexander, but some concern flashed into her eyes when she saw Twilight. “Oh, don’t you have a warmer coat, Twilight?”

Twilight shook her head. 

“Oh! How have you been managing all winter?” Magdala ushered them inside. “Come on, then. Enjoy your drinks in here.”

As they sat down at one of the bakery’s round tables, Alexander couldn’t help but laugh. “I figured she’d let us come in. I didn’t think she’d force us to.”

“She’s nice,” Twilight said. “She’s a good grandmother.”

“She is,” Alexander agreed. “She was the first real friend I made when I first came to Varia.”

“And now she’s family?”

“Yeah. She’s family.”

Twilight put her nose right up to her cider and dipped her tongue into it to test the temperature. Deeming it too hot, she quickly pulled away and blew off a bit of the steam. She let out a little huff when it was still too hot. Her eyes flickered back up to Alexander. “Will you tell me more about Avory?”

Once more, Alexander tried to put aside his feelings of grief so he could give Twilight a positive answer. “Well...he loved to climb trees, but he was afraid of heights.”

“Really?”

“Yeah... Once, when he was about ten, he somehow managed to get himself up a massive tree. He couldn’t figure out how to get back down, and he was so scared.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, I climbed up after him.” A smile broke through at the memory. “Then, we were both stuck.”

“Both of you?”

Alexander’s smile turned into a grin. He hid it behind a sip of cider. “Yeah. My uncle had to come get us. It was so funny, seeing him try to climb that tree. But he was so mad.”

“Did he get you down?”

“He did. And Avory and I got in trouble for it, but it was okay because we kept reminding each other of the way Uncle Emile climbed that tree. Because he—” Alexander had to put his drink down so it wouldn’t accidentally come out of his nose. “He was way too heavy to be in the tree. And a branch would tip too far to the side and he’d make this weird face when he was about to fall.” Alexander was surprised by how clearly he could see the memory. “Like he was trying to look really stern, but you could tell how scared he actually was.” 

“You were all scared?”

“All three of us were. But we got down, and it was actually really easy. It just looked hard from so high up.”

Twilight tested the temperature of her cider again, this time taking a small sip of it. “It’s good that you got down.”

“And Avory kept climbing trees after that. He just never went so high again.”

With a contented hum and another sip of cider, Twilight said, “I wish Avory wasn’t so far away. I want to meet him.”

Alexander smiled grimly. “I wish you could meet him, too.” 

After they’d both finished most of their cider, Nephith entered through the front door of the bakery. She seemed surprised to find both Twilight and Alexander sitting together.

“Hi, Nephith,” Twilight waved.

“Hey.” Nephith gave her a pat between the ears and threw something down onto the table in front of Alexander. “Here. Shenda told me to give this to you.”

Alexander placed a hand on top of the folded parchment. He opened it and read the scrawled message. Once he’d finished, he turned narrowed eyes on Nephith.

“Cosmo wants me to meet him in the Capitol.”

“Why?”

“He didn’t say,” Alexander frowned, “but he said it was urgent.”


	20. Day Twenty: Anxiety

Alexander waited.

He watched the clock on the wall, studied the rhythm of the second-hand to determine if it had skipped a beat, or if that was just his pounding heart. 

The white walls of the lobby pressed in on him, causing his vision to fly out of focus and blur the numbers on the clock face. He closed his eyes. He tapped his foot. Anything to distract him from the draining silence and emptiness of the lobby.

An hour passed, and he began to regret teleporting in so soon after receiving the letter. He’d barely given them any time to prepare. He should have waited in Andulhaven, where at least he would have had someone to talk to. He pressed his hands over his eyes, willing the seconds to tick by faster. He glared up at the clock. The perpetual click of the gears was like a hammer driving a nail into his skull, click, click, click. 

He could have screamed. He wanted to. Was there anyone else in this building who would hear him?

Finally, two and a half hours after his arrival, Marsei passed through the doors in the back of the lobby, clipboard in hand. “This way, please.”

The hallway seemed even longer the second time. He wasted no time descending the stairs after Marsei stopped at the top of them. He pushed past the doctors who asked if he had any belongings he needed to leave behind. 

“He’s in room three, Mr. Karollo.”

“Thanks.” For nothing, Alexander added to himself.

Room three. Taking a deep breath, Alexander idled outside the door for an extra second before knocking. 

“Come in.”

Cosmo was sitting up in a comfortable-looking cot, looking a little pale, but otherwise fine. He wore a white gown like the walls and a gray scarf.

“Alexander! I was hoping you’d get my letter soon.”

“You idiot!” Alexander burst out, unable to hold it in. “They could have killed you!”

“Hey, calm down,” Cosmo said with a slight roll of his eyes. “I’m fine. The tests were actually safe, mind you. And I’m recovering quickly.”

“Why did you...? You weren’t even on the list before! Why did you let them do this to you?”

“Marsei said they needed someone else to replace you since you ran off without warning. They had your room booked and everything. Poor Marsei was worried it would skew the test results.”

Alexander scoffed. “I don’t care about Marsei or her stupid tests. You should have told someone, Cosmo!” Alexander sighed. He was starting to sound like Magdala. 

“Look, the important thing is, the antidote worked. The hemlock barely touched me. I had symptoms for less than twenty-four hours before the antidote worked its magic.” Cosmo smirked. “But, there’s something more important than that,” he said.

“What.”

“The diamond dust, my friend! I’m sending it with you back to Andulhaven. It belongs to you.”

Alexander’s mouth fell open, but no words came out.

“And, I did some bargaining with Marsei. She’s doubled the reward. Diamond dust worth 2,000 gold pieces, just so she could get her final test subject.”

“Cosmo, no.” Alexander finally got his words to work. “I can’t accept that from you. It’s yours.”

Cosmo leaned in a little closer, and Alexander put a hand on his shoulder so he wouldn’t fall off the bed. “You’re the one who needs it, Alexander. What am I going to need diamond dust for? I’m a rich politician.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Well, maybe not yet, but I will be. Anyway, my point is, you either take the diamond dust now, or I’ll send it off to Magdala because I know she can make you take it.”

“Cosmo.” Alexander also leaned in, his dark eyes narrowed and serious. “This is something I have to do on my own. I can’t accept this from you.”

Cosmo patted him on the arm as he shook his head slowly. “You used diamond dust to bring me back before, right? Come on, Alexander. It’s the least I can do. Bring your brother back.”

Alexander could only stare for a long moment at Cosmo’s unwavering blue gaze. Finally, he broke his gaze away and slumped his shoulders. “Magdala did say...it was going to be a ‘family effort.’”

“Yeah! A family effort! So take it, will you?”

Alexander bowed his head, focusing on his breathing for a few seconds. The more he talked about Avory, the more desperate he became to bring him back. He had no reason to waste this opportunity. 

“Alright. I will. Thank you, Cosmo.”

Cosmo grinned. “I’ve got to support your adventures somehow. Just promise me one thing, Alexander.”

“Mm?”

“I want to meet him when he comes back.”


	21. Day Twenty-One: Trembling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of reference to abuse in this one. Nothing happens on-screen, but it's not pretty.

Alexander huddled underneath his blanket, curled up on his bed with his back against the wall. He fought a losing battle against tears, so he pressed the blanket against his eyes to prevent them from trickling onto his cheeks. Hiccups interrupted his breathing. Those, too, had come after a long-fought battle, after discouraging words of shame.

_ Boys don’t cry. Especially not thirteen-year-old boys.  _

But how was he supposed to hold them in, when it seemed like Emile’s goal was to whip them out of him?

A shiver passed down his spine and tingled throughout the rest of his body. He clenched his teeth and hid the next sob behind a sneer of absolute contempt. He hated his uncle. At least Lyra had taken the time to clean his wounds before handing him over to Emile. A switch left scars, but no one at the academy would see them.

Those two boys had it much worse, Emile had reminded him. Their parents had stopped by, apparently. One of them had a broken nose. Never mind the scars they’d given Avory. Never mind the fact that Alexander had prevented them from doing so much worse. 

Seething, Alexander yelled into his pillow, the pain and anger amassing into one broken cry. He wasn’t sorry. Even though Emile made him say it, he wasn’t sorry. He’d never be sorry for protecting Avory. 

And if one of those boys had a broken nose, good. He deserved a broken arm for hurting Avory.

The bedroom door creaked open. Expecting Lyra or Emile, Alexander tried to erase his tears. 

The door closed softly, and the sound of light footsteps neared his bed. A hand touched the part of the blanket that covered his head.

“Alex?”

Alexander’s pent-up sobs trembled in his chest. He couldn’t say anything, even as Avory sat down on the bed next to him. 

“Lyra put some medicine on my face to help with the bruises. She said my lip might need a stitch or two. I hope not. That sounds scary.” The hand on Alexander’s head traveled down to his shoulder. “Are you okay, Alex?”

Alexander shook his head under the covers.

“Did...Uncle Emile...”

“He switched me.” Alexander’s voice twisted, coming out half-whispered. “He didn’t even care that I was sticking up for you. He didn’t care!” A shuddering breath escaped him. “I hate him.”

“I’m sorry for getting you in trouble.” Avory’s meek apology drew Alexander out from under the blankets.

“No. Don’t apologize, Avory. None of this is your fault, understand?”

Avory took one look at Alexander and burst into tears. “Oh, Alex, I feel so terrible. If I hadn’t--” 

“Don’t say that, Ave! Those boys have been mean to you all year! It’s not your fault!”

Leaning forward, Avory clutched desperately at Alexander’s shoulders until he could hug him tightly around the neck. Pressed ear-to-ear with his brother, Avory sobbed unrelentingly. 

Alexander had no way to sop up his own tears now, with Avory pinning the blanket between them. So he cried, silently, while Avory’s body trembled with his wails.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Alexander pleaded. “It...it’s my fault for beating them up. I shouldn’t have done that. You told me not to. And it’s Uncle Emile’s fault for not understanding.”

“I shouldn’t need you to stick up for me.” Avory’s voice sounded so pitiful, Alexander gave him a tighter squeeze.

“I’m happy to do it, Ave. You’re my little brother. I’d do anything to make sure you stay safe and happy.”

“Even if you get hurt?”

“Yeah. Even if I get hurt. Because I love you, Avory. And I don’t know what I’d do without you. So of course I’m going to keep you safe.”

Avory sniffed through the last of his sobs. “You’re the best big brother in the entire world,” he whispered. Then, with a tiny gasp, he said, “Did you eat something?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Alex...”

“Really.” Alexander sighed. “I just want to sleep for a while.”

“Then, can...” Avory trailed off. “Well, I know it’s been a long time, but...”

“Sleep here tonight,” Alexander said. “I don’t mind.”

“You don’t think we’re too old for that?”

“No. It’s okay. Actually, I think it’ll be nice.”

Avory needed no further confirmation. He pulled away from Alexander just enough to loosen the blanket. Alexander tossed it over Avory and pulled him close.

“Goodnight, Alex.”

“Goodnight, Ave.”


	22. Day Twenty-Two: Vulnerability

“I assume this meeting is about something personal,” Nephith said, arms crossed. 

Alexander raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“Bakery. After hours. Children of Arcana only. Your son is here.” Nephith gestured to Rory, who Magdala cradled in her arms. 

“What does it matter if the meeting is about something personal?” Magdala asked. Alexander shot her a grateful half-smile. 

“It doesn’t,” Nephith shrugged. “I just want to know what to prepare myself for.” She stared directly at Alexander. “You don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to personal matters.”

Before Alexander could respond, Magdala said, “Alright, Nephith. That’s enough.”

“I’m just saying—”

“ _Enough._ ”

The bakery door opened and Caltan loped through, Red trailing behind him. Caltan held the door open, waiting for a third party to come through. 

Twilight poked her head in. “Hi,” she said. “Caltan said I should ask if I can come, too.”

Alexander shared a glance with Magdala. She nodded for him to answer. 

“Yes, that’s okay,” he said.

Caltan and Twilight joined them at the round wooden table. Red walked around to sit in between Magdala and Alexander. 

“That’s everyone,” Magdala said. “Go ahead, Alexander.”

Alexander hesitated. For all his rehearsing, he still didn’t know where to start. Clearing his throat, he folded his hands on top of the table and focused his gaze on his interlocked fingers. “Well,” he started, “I’ve decided...” He took a deep breath. “Well, when I was younger, before I lived in Varia... a _long_ time ago...”

Sneaking a glance at the others, Alexander saw Caltan nod patiently. Nephith’s expression betrayed nothing, but Twilight seemed interested. 

“I had a brother,” Alexander said.

“Avory, right?” Nephith said. “You’ve mentioned him before.”

“Oh!” Twilight’s eyes brightened. “Yes! Avory!”

Alexander swallowed. His gaze dropped back to his hands. “Well, I’m not sure if you know...er, Twilight, I know I didn’t tell you, but...” Every word struggled more and more to scrape out of his throat. “He...died. When I was fifteen, he died.”

Silence as thick as smoke filled the bakery. Alexander suffocated on it until he felt light-headed. Underneath the table, Red put a hand on Alexander’s knee, a gesture Magdala often used. Alexander offered the boy a grim smile.

“Oh, Alexander,” Nephith muttered under her breath. Alexander heard her unspoken words. Something like _It never ends with you, does it?_ Or, _What else haven’t you told us?_ She appeared to believe him, anyway.

“So,” Alexander forced himself to continue, “I’ve come to a decision. I’m going to find a way to bring him back.”

“Just like me,” Red whispered.

When Nephith and Caltan continued to stare at him, Alexander burst out, “Just, I just wanted you to know. I’m collecting diamond dust, so... I, I don’t expect your help, but I just--”

“Why wouldn’t we help you?” Nephith asked.

Alexander hesitated, drawing in a slow breath as he raised his eyebrows at Nephith. “Because,” he spat out, “Because it would be wasting your time, or you’d rather save the diamond dust for someone more important.”

“More important than your brother?” Caltan said. “How long has it been since he died?”

“Five years,” Alexander rasped.

“And I’m sure you’ve missed him those five years. Of course we’ll help you bring him back.” Caltan gave him his signature smile. “Anything for my best friend.”

Nephith rolled her eyes. “Yes, Alexander. We’ll help you. We’re not doing anything other than rebuilding Andulhaven. We can spare some time to bring your brother back.”

“You will?” Alexander’s shoulders slumped. “Are you sure?”

Twilight, who had been sitting with drooped ears and wide eyes, finally spoke up. “You said I could meet him someday,” she murmured. “I didn’t know he was dead.”

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” Alexander said. “I should have told you when you asked about him.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “If we bring him back, then I still get to meet him, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then I want to help, too.” Twilight’s eyes twinkled with determination. 

“Me too,” Red said. “I want to meet Avory, too!”

“We’ll all pitch in,” Magdala said. “A family effort, Alexander.”

Alexander looked to Magdala. She had a knowing grin on her face. He ducked his head and exhaled a shiver. 

“Thank you. All of you.”


	23. Day Twenty-Three: Study

“Are you glad it’s over?” Lyra asked after finishing a bite of potatoes. “Are you excited to move on to University-Prep?”

Alexander took his time chewing his food so he could formulate an answer. “It’ll be hard,” he decided, “but I’m glad to leave the academy.”

“And what about you, Avory? Seventh year should be no problem for you.”

Across the table, Uncle Emile grunted and shook his head.

“Ave?” Lyra prompted when Avory didn’t respond.

Alexander glanced at his brother. Avory stared at his food and poked at it with his fork. He finally shrugged, but still said nothing. 

“It won’t be too hard,” Lyra said. “Alexander can help you study, right Alexander?”

“Of course, Ave. I’ll help you out.”

When Avory continued picking at his pork and potatoes, Emile slammed a hand down on the table, startling Avory into dropping his fork.

“Wipe that look off your face,” Emile demanded. “Quit pouting and act your age for once, will you?”

“Uncle Emile,” Alexander spoke up, but Emile cut him off.

“And  _ you _ need to stop encouraging him,” he spat. “He can’t function on his own because you insist on treating him like a child.”

Alexander ducked his head, hiding from Emile’s angry stare. He couldn’t look at Lyra, either; he knew she wouldn’t do anything to stop Emile.

“Your aunt asked you a question, Avory. Answer her.”

An unpleasant shiver prickled Alexander’s skin as he heard Avory sniffle next to him. He didn’t move, except to clench his fists under the table.

Emile scoffed. “Unbelievable. I’ve never seen a twelve-year-old boy who cries as much as you. Grow up.” Emile stood, his chair grating against the dining room floor. 

Alexander flinched.

As Emile lumbered into the living room, the table’s three remaining occupants sat in frozen silence. At last, Lyra said, “You boys will help me clean up, won’t you?”

Wordlessly, Alexander and Avory nodded. 

  
  



	24. Day Twenty-Four: Secret

“Honestly, Avory, I can’t stand it. They take everything so seriously! Maths is _horrible_. And Language is so stupid. I don’t care about the old versions of Valle! Why do we have to learn how to speak and translate the old versions when we don’t use it anymore? They’re so overly-complicated too, even though they use fewer characters. You practically have to guess at what most of the words mean because the characters don’t have differentiating marks.” Alexander glanced over at Avory, who paid him his full attention. “They made it better for a reason. Why do we have to learn the old way?”

“I don’t know, Alex. But in my opinion, the old characters look prettier.” Avory smiled distantly. “I bet it would be more fun to write.”

“Fun for you, maybe,” Alexander said. “I just don’t like writing in general.”

“Can I see some of your work? Maybe I can try.”

Alexander laughed. “Sure, Ave. But don’t you have your own homework to do?” He rifled through his knapsack in search of his Language book. 

“I’m all done with my homework.” Avory slid off his bed and joined Alexander on the floor. 

Alexander withdrew the book and opened it to the page he’d marked for his homework. “Today we’re copying the _gata_ and _hetsu_ characters. _Gata_ can make two different sounds, depending on where it’s used, and _hetsu_ sometimes makes no sound at all. I couldn’t tell you how to use them. I’m just practicing writing them today.”

“I like the way _hetsu_ looks,” Avory said. “The top reminds me of a cat.”

“What? I don’t see a cat!”

“Right there, see? It’s like his little ear.” 

Alexander laughed. “Of course you would find some way to like the hardest character to write.”

“It doesn’t look too hard.”

“I keep forgetting to add this part down here.”Alexander pointed to a group of angled markings at the bottom of the character. 

“Those are like the whiskers! You can’t forget the whiskers!”

“You know what?” Alexander said, “I don’t think I will anymore. I’ll never get the image of _hetsu the cat_ out of my mind.”

Avory grinned and nudged Alexander with his shoulder. “Glad I could help.”

Alexander rolled out his practice parchment and handed Avory a pen. “Here. You can do part of my homework for me.”

Avory raised an eyebrow at him disapprovingly. “Alex...”

“Come on, just try one. My handwriting’s so bad, they’ll never know someone else did it.”

Avory snickered. “That’s why I’m worried. My handwriting is better than yours!”

“You’ve never written this one before! There’s no way you’ll get it perfect.”

“Sounds like a challenge.” Avory touched the pen to the page. Carefully, he copied the character. He smirked as he added the ‘whiskers.’ “There! All done!”

Alexander stared down at it in disbelief. “Come on...I’m gonna have to make the rest of them just as nice. Unless...you’d want to finish it for me?”

“Alex!”

“Alright, alright.” Alexander took the pen back and got to work. He looked at Avory’s character instead of the one in the book. “So,” he said as he continued writing, “how’s seventh year treating you?”

“I want to hear more about Riverside Prep,” Avory said. “You already know how seventh year goes.”

“You’re deflecting again,” Alexander sighed. He set his pen down and looked directly at Avory. “Why won’t you ever talk about your school? You know it doesn’t matter to me that I already took the classes. I want to know how _you_ are doing.”

“I’m fine, Alex.”

“Okay, sure, but I’ve never heard anything about how well you’re doing, or, or if you have friends.” He tilted his head. “You do have friends, right?”

Avory smiled. “It’s fine, Alex. We don’t need to talk about that. It’s all boring, anyway. Tell me about your teachers. Has Miss Thame gotten any easier to bear?”

Alexander scoffed. “Nope. She still insists on giving us a quiz _every day_. If I miss even a little bit of her lecture, I fail it. Seriously, it’s like she knows when I zone out, and she picks those particular moments to quiz us on.”

“Are you taking notes?”

“Yes!”

“...can you read them?”

Alexander pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes.

“You’ve really got to work on your handwriting, Alex!”

“You’ll have to help me out, Ave.”

Avory picked up the pen, and Alexander realized he’d managed to steer the conversation away from his own experiences at school again. “Your problem is you write too fast.”

“I have to! Miss Thame never slows down!”

Flipping to an empty piece of parchment, Avory said, “It’s like old Valle. You don’t have to add every mark when you’re taking notes, because you know what the subject is. You shouldn’t have to guess at what your writing means. Like this.”

Avory turned his attention to the parchment, but Alexander placed his hand over his brother’s, stilling the pen before it touched the paper. 

“Wait, Ave.”

Avory slowly turned back, but he kept his gaze low. 

“Seriously, tell me how school is going for you. This doesn’t matter to me right now. I want to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Trust me, Alex. Can’t you do that?” Avory’s voice softened. “Stop worrying.”

Alexander huffed incredulously, his stomach swirling with a mixture of anxiety and irritation. “Fine. Don’t tell me, then,” he said, snatching the pen back. “I have to do my homework, anyway.”

Hugging his arms around himself, Avory leaned away from Alexander. Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet and slunk away to the bedroom door. Without another word, he left the room and closed the door behind him. 

With a frustrated growl, Alexander stabbed a hole in his parchment with his pen. 


	25. Day Twenty-Five: Hope

“Is everything alright?”

Alexander looked up from the piece of grass he’d chosen to stare at and met Caltan’s curious gaze. He nodded slowly.

“You’re out of focus.”

“I just...” Alexander’s excuse died in his throat. He sighed. “Yeah. I am.”

Caltan closed the door of the unfinished house and stepped fully outside. “This building is coming along well. It won’t miss our help.” He flashed a smile. “Walk with me?”

With a shrug, Alexander followed Caltan away from the newest portion of Andulhaven and into the forest nearby. Caltan picked a well-traveled, wide trail so they could walk side-by-side.

“It’s best to take breaks from our work,” Caltan said. “We’ve been doing a lot for Andulhaven. No one will complain if we take a short break.”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“I didn’t think so.”

Alexander glanced at Caltan. The man didn’t pry; he never did, but a silent invitation to vent was evident in his expression. 

Trailing a hand over the frosted grass at the edge of the pathway, Alexander remained silent, mulling over his troubles. Finally, he stopped walking and said, “I just don’t want to get my hopes up.”

Caltan slowed to a halt and looked over his shoulder at Alexander. He waited a few seconds before asking, “Would you like to elaborate?”

“Well.” Alexander’s gaze wandered into the trees. “I really appreciate everyone’s help in collecting diamond dust. I do. But, I’m just worried. What if it doesn’t work?”

“As long as Avory’s life was ended prematurely, True Resurrection will bring him back.”

Alexander swallowed. “Are there...any other reasons it wouldn’t work?”

“Hmm.” Caltan put a hand to his chin. “I suppose Avory could choose not to come back. He could refuse the resurrection.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Alexander muttered. 

“Do you think your brother would prefer to be dead?”

Alexander closed his eyes and took a deep, slow breath. “I’m not sure.” He spun on his heel and plodded back the way they came. “We’d better get back to work.”

He heard Caltan jog to catch up with him and watched as he regained the lead. “Very well,” Caltan said, “but if you feel you need to take another break from our work, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Of course.” Alexander trained his gaze on the ground. “Thank you, Caltan.”

  
  



	26. Day Twenty-Six: Dream

Alexander had finally gotten Rory to sleep when he heard a knock on his door. With a glance out the window into the pitch-black sky, he rubbed a hand over his weary eyes and trudged over to his bedroom door. 

Red stood hunched on the other side, head bowed and arms folded behind his back. “Hi, Alexander,” he said in a sheepish voice.

“Red?” Alexander stepped aside to let the boy in. “What’s wrong?”

“Can’t sleep.” Red rubbed a hand over his eyes and yawned.

“It looks like you’re tired,” Alexander said with a chuckle. “Is there anything in particular keeping you awake?” He gestured for Red to sit on the foot of his bed. The auburn-haired child complied with a sigh.

“I keep having the same dream.”

Alexander sat down next to Red and placed a hand between his shoulders. “Do you want to tell me what the dream was about?”

Red played with the fabric of his nightshirt absentmindedly. “It’s about you.”

“Oh? What about me?”

“Well...” Red looked out the window and then over to Rory’s crib. “Well, you forget about me.”

Alexander frowned. “I forget about you?”

“Yeah. In the dream, I’m calling out to you, but you can’t hear me. You just keep walking away, and I run as fast as I can to catch up. When I finally do, you look at me and you say, ‘Who are you?’” Red shuffled his feet against the blanket hanging over the edge of Alexander’s bed. “You don’t remember me.”

Alexander pulled Red in for a side-hug. “You know I’d never forget about you, buddy.”

“But...what if you have to take care of Rory all the time, and then when Avory comes back, you spend time with him and you forget about me?”

“You and Avory will be great friends,” Alexander said, and he whole-heartedly believed it. “And while I’ll probably spend a lot of time with Avory at first, I won’t forget about you. You’re just as much family to me as Avory is, Red. You don’t ever need to worry about me leaving you behind.”

Red bobbed his head, though he still seemed uncertain. “I...I know that. But I keep having that dream. I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry, buddy. Dreams can be really complicated sometimes, or really scary other times. I know bad dreams can make it really hard to sleep.”

Red nodded and yawned again. “I don’t want to go back to bed.”

Alexander rubbed Red’s shoulder as he considered the young boy. “You need to sleep, Red. You’re tired.”

“Can...” Red ducked his head and hunched his shoulders. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

A twinge of nostalgia in Alexander’s chest brought a whisper of a smile to his lips. “You know...Avory used to ask me that a lot.” Red raised his head, his curiosity piqued. “I always said yes.” He angled his head toward the pillows behind them. “Besides, this bed is big enough to share.”

“You really wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

Immediately after Alexander gave his second confirmation, Red flung himself into the bed and under the covers. “Can I sleep here every night?”

Alexander chuckled. “No, not every night.” He folded over the blanket on the other side of the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress. “But if you have trouble sleeping, or if you have any more bad dreams, you can come sleep in here.”

Red snuggled deeper into the blankets and grinned.

“But,” Alexander continued as he fluffed up his pillow, “someday, I might not be here to help you anymore. So I want to teach you how to fend for yourself, so you don’t have to rely on me, or on anyone else.”

An anxious stare peeked out from the blankets. “Are you going to leave someday?”

“I don’t plan to,” Alexander said. “But I can’t guarantee I’ll be around forever.” He snuffed out the lantern’s fire and finally joined Red under the covers. “I just want to make sure you’re prepared, in case something happens.”

“I don’t want something to happen to you...”

“I don’t mean to scare you, buddy.” Alexander reached out to give Red’s hair a ruffle. “It’s just...well, don’t worry about it.” Alexander frowned and pushed away the trepidation pooling in his chest. “For now, you come to me whenever you need me, alright?”

“Okay...” Red sounded uncertain, but his words cut off with a yawn. “Goodnight, Alex.”

Alexander’s breath caught in his throat. “Goodnight, Red.”

He rolled onto his back, wide awake, and listened to Red’s breathing. When it had slowed to a steady pace, intermittent with soft snores, Alexander finally closed his eyes. 

And into the darkness, Alexander whispered, “Goodnight, Ave.”


	27. Day Twenty-Seven: Loyalty

Alexander re-situated the strap of his knapsack so it hung on a different part of his shoulder. The old place it had been felt raw; the leather rubbed back and forth with each stride as he walked. 

The journey from Riverside Prep to Riverside Academy spanned halfway across town. Usually, Alexander would ride in a public carriage to and from school, but today, he’d decided to walk. He needed to pay Avory a visit at his school, and today he’d be staying late to work on a project. It was the perfect time for Alexander to do a little digging.

It wasn’t that Alexander didn’t trust Avory. But his younger brother rarely said anything about his school, and that alone was enough to make Alexander worry. If there was anyone he’d trek across town for, it was Avory, and so he did. 

Riverside Academy came into view after Alexander rounded one last corner. The familiar brick building invited him closer. He certainly didn’t miss the academy, but it reminded him of simpler times. 

Striding through the doorway, Alexander gave a wave to the secretary who’d hated him. He couldn’t keep a smile off of his lips. He turned in the direction of the upper classes and sought out the seventh year classroom. Quietly, he peeked through the doorway, hoping to catch a glimpse of Avory’s group of friends.

Instead, he saw Avory, sitting by himself at a table, pouring over several sheets of parchment and writing very carefully on one in the middle. 

Anger bubbled up inside of Alexander, and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. He stepped into the room with his arms crossed over his chest.

“What are you doing, Avory?”

Avory jumped and dropped his pen. It clattered to the floor. Alexander swooped down to pick it up while Avory floundered for an answer. 

“You told me you had to work on a group project after school today.” Alexander pressed, setting Avory’s pen back down on the table. He kept his hand over it.

Avory looked up at Alexander with wide, unblinking blue eyes and said nothing. 

“But you’re here alone.” Alexander leaned closer, looking over the papers. “And this is just regular homework.”

“We finished our project already.” Avory squeaked.

“That’s a lie! School ended fifteen minutes ago!”

“We did, Alex. We were almost done when we started.”

“So why didn’t you come right home? Why are you doing your homework here by yourself?”

Avory tried to take his pen back, but Alexander pressed down on it. “I just didn’t want to, okay?” 

“Tell me the truth, Avory!”

“ _I am!_ ” The words came out in a roar, unlike anything Alexander had ever heard from his brother. “Stop asking about me! I’m doing fine on my own! I can function without you, _Alex!_ ” He stood up from the table and grabbed again for the pen, but Alexander wrapped his fingers around it. Alexander put a hand on Avory’s upper arm to push him back, but as soon as he touched his brother, Avory winced. 

Alexander dropped the pen. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing.”

“No, no.” Alexander shook his head and frowned. “You’re hurt. What happened?” He stepped forward and Avory stepped back.

“Go away! I’m trying to work!”

“Let me see your arm, Ave.” Alexander purposefully softened his voice, hoping to appease Avory.

But Avory refused with a quick shake of his head. “There’s nothing wrong.”

“If there’s nothing wrong, there’s no harm in me looking, right? I just want to make sure.”

“Leave me alone!” Avory all but screamed it. Alexander flinched and was about to respond when a voice from the doorway interrupted him.

“Alexander Karollo, what are you doing here?”

Alexander looked over his shoulder at a tall, stern-faced man. “Mr. Sho, Avory is my brother.”

“I know he is. But unlike you, Avory is still enrolled at our academy. You have no reason to be here.”

“I’m taking him home.”

“No,” Avory spoke up, “he’s not. I’m still doing my homework. He just came in to distract me.”

Alexander shot Avory a wounded glance. Avory didn’t meet his gaze.

“Come on, Alexander,” Mr. Sho said, “you need to leave. Avory doesn’t need anyone to walk him home.” 

Gritting his teeth, Alexander snatched the pen up and shoved it in Avory’s direction, not even waiting for his brother to take it from his hand before he dropped it. “Good luck with your homework,” he muttered, before pushing past Mr. Sho into the hallway. 

Alexander readjusted his knapsack and trudged home with a scowl on his face.


	28. Day Twenty-Eight: Contrast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get really rough from here on out, folks. Heed the tags.

“They said they can do the ritual tomorrow morning.”

“Wonderful! That’s terrific news, Alexander!” Magdala patted him on the back before grabbing her apron off of its hook near the oven. “How about some celebratory apple pie?”

Alexander shook his head and leaned against the only sliver of empty wall in the bakery’s kitchen. “He’s not back yet. I don’t want to celebrate too soon.”

Magdala quirked an eyebrow and planted her hands on her hips. “With a sour expression like that, it doesn’t seem like you want to celebrate at all.”

Huffing in annoyance, Alexander rolled his eyes to the ceiling and stopped there, examining the worn wood of the support beams. 

“Well, I’m going to make some apple pie to cheer you up instead. How’s that?”

“Fine.”

Magdala stepped directly in front of him. “Do you want to talk about it, Alexander? A simple yes or no will do.”

He leveled his gaze at her and struggled to hold it.

“I’ll take that as a yes. As it comes, dear. I’ll just be over here making your pie.”

Alexander released a tense breath as she stepped away from him. He watched vacantly as she set out the ingredients on the countertop and mixed them together into a large bowl.

His mind traveled back to the small box he’d found on his bedside table last night. It had been full of the rest of the diamond dust needed to perform the True Resurrection spell. Beneath the box, a handwritten note that simply said, _Here you go, pal_. Alexander knew it came from Caltan, and he knew not to ask how he’d acquired it.

The collection of the diamond dust had been a family effort. Besides the small amount Alexander started with, leftovers from their battles with dragons, liches, and demons, the rest of the dust had been collected by his friends. He’d had no part in it. Cosmo had risked his life for the dust. Nephith and Twilight had retrieved some from the Elven Capitol of Galledar. Red and Magdala had entered a pie into the Capitol’s baking contest, the main event of the holiday honoring Tryst, the god of life and bounty. Their pie won first place. 

And then there was Caltan, mysteriously dropping off the rest of the diamond dust Alexander needed. All without a word to Alexander’s face.

Alexander felt nothing but appreciation for his family and the effort they put into reviving his younger brother. As soon as he’d reweighed the diamond dust to make certain he had enough, he’d bolted to the church of Sulare without a second thought and persuaded the clerics to perform the spell for him. But now, on the eve of his brother’s revival, he only felt unease and uncertainty. 

Magdala was patting crust into a pie tin when Alexander said, “I’m afraid he’ll refuse to come back.”

“Come now, dear. You told me yourself: Avory misses you. You spoke to him, didn’t you?”

“I did.” Alexander rubbed his arm and studied the way Magdala crimped the edges of the crust with her fingers. “Avory said he missed _me_. He never said he missed living.”

“He told you he was afraid.”

“He’s afraid because he’s alone.”

“Now,” Magdala pointed a flour-covered finger at him. “You stop that train of thought right there. Your brother will be no better off if you join him. We have _been over this_ , Alexander.”

“I’m not saying that!” Alexander made a frustrated gesture with his arms and then let them hang loosely by his sides. “But I can’t say for sure that Avory would appreciate being dragged back to life.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Magdala asked, perfectly serious. “He was only thirteen when he died, right? He’s got so much more life to live.”

Alexander fell silent and rubbed a weary hand over his eyes.

Magdala wiped her hands on her apron and hobbled over to Alexander. She put a hand on his arm, and wordlessly, he leaned into her, accepting the hug that followed. 

“I’ve always been too afraid to ask,” Magdala whispered, “but I think now might be the proper occasion.”

Alexander waited for the question, though he knew what it would be. 

“Would you tell me how Avory died?” Magdala squeezed him a little tighter as if she were afraid the question would cause him to flee. 

Releasing a fraction of his tension on an exhale, Alexander slowly nodded.

“Okay. I’ll tell you.”


	29. Day Twenty-Nine: Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big-time warnings for death in this chapter. Y'all knew it was coming.

When Alexander opened the door to his bedroom, Avory yelped and jolted in surprise. Alexander thought he saw his brother shove something under his pillow, but it happened so fast, he couldn’t tell what it was, or if it had happened at all. Knowing Avory wouldn’t respond to his questioning, Alexander trudged over to his closet and rummaged for his school supplies.

“Where are you going?” Avory asked. 

Alexander glanced over his shoulder and returned to the disorganized mess in the closet. “Stephan and I are studying for our Language test tomorrow. We’re meeting at his house.”

“Now?”

“Yeah?” Alexander stood up with a bundle of papers in his arms and dumped them on his bed, where he shoved them one-by-one into his knapsack. “Is there a problem with that?”

“I didn’t know you were leaving.”

Alexander sighed and crumpled the last paper into his bag. “Sorry, Ave. We just planned it during school today.”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Avory said quietly, rubbing at a corner of his blanket.

“You did?” Alexander sat down on his bed, his brows furrowed. He bit back the words, _you actually want to talk about yourself?_

“Mm-hmm,” Avory nodded. “It’s important.”

“Well...” Alexander hesitated. “I really want to hear it, Ave, I promise. But I told Stephan I’d be there, and this test is really big. Is it okay if we talk later tonight?”

Avory’s countenance darkened, and Alexander felt a twinge of guilt as his brother shrugged. 

“Or, or we can talk about it now really quick,” Alexander added, “before I have to go.”

The thin smile on Avory’s face didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine, Alex. You should work hard and pass the test.”

“Well, I won’t be long. I really won’t be long,” Alexander said. “I’ll study really fast, okay, and then I’ll be right home.”

“I’m fine, Alex.”

Alexander stood up, suddenly overwhelmed with emotional turmoil. “I care about you, Avory. I promise. And I really want to hear what you have to say, alright?”

Avory’s head bobbed up and down in a slow nod. “Alright, Alex. But I really am fine.”

“Okay. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” Alexander’s hand hovered over the doorknob. Words hung on his tongue a moment too long and dissipated. Avory had turned his attention elsewhere.

Alexander left.

Three hours later, Alexander returned. He dropped his knapsack by the front door so he wouldn’t forget it in the morning and waved hello to Lyra in the kitchen. 

“Avory’s not with you?” she asked. 

Alexander glanced at Avory’s shoes in the entryway. “No, he’s still here. He was upstairs when I left.”

“Well, I haven’t heard a peep from him.” Lyra yawned. “And of course, Emile is still out with Carst. The house has been quiet all afternoon.”

“I’ll go check on Avory,” Alexander said. He’d spent the entire time at Stephan’s wondering what Avory wanted to talk about. As he ascended the stairs, an odd feeling shivered through him. The air seemed to choke him as he reached his bedroom door and reached for the handle. Thinking twice, he knocked instead.

“Ave? I’m back.”

No answer.

“Ave?” He tried, a little louder.

Tightness seized his chest as silence clogged the hallway. 

“I’m coming in, okay?” He turned the doorknob.

The smell hit him before anything else, but as soon as he caught a glimpse of Avory’s bed, Alexander screamed. He screamed. He tried to breathe, but he could only scream, and scream, and scream. His feet moved him backward until he hit a wall, where he slumped to the floor, still screaming. 

A ringing in his ears drowned out anything else around him. He barely registered as Lyra appeared by his side. He barely noticed her crying. 

He just screamed, and screamed, and screamed.

He closed his eyes but only saw blood, blood, and that poor, poor, porcelain face. He had died smiling. Why had he died smiling?

What, what, why? What had he been trying to say? What were the words on the tip of his tongue? Why had he been too afraid to say them?

Alexander would never know.

And so he screamed. And screamed. And screamed. 


	30. Day Thirty: Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Suicide. I'm sorry.

“Sit down right here.”

“Cross your legs.”

“Hold your hands out, palms up.”

“Don’t move. If you break the circle, it could interrupt the ritual.”

“I’m going to pour a bit of the dust into each of your hands. When I ask you to, and immediately after I do so, you must close your hands around the dust. Understood?”

“Yes,” Alexander said. He sat perfectly still, barely moving his mouth even to speak.

“Derren will be performing the ritual. He’s sitting directly across from you over there. Once the circle activates, Darren will ask you to identify Avory’s spirit. Can you do that?”

Of course he could. “Yes.”

“Very well. Once we’ve poured the dust into your hands, we can begin.”

Alexander watched as the cleric used a tiny tool to funnel a bit of diamond dust into each of his palms. On each hand, he wrote a different rune with the dust, though Alexander didn’t know what they meant. He slowed his breathing, afraid he might blow away a few particles of dust if he exhaled too forcefully. 

Across the circle, Derren also held his palms upward, though they were empty. A ring of diamond dust connected the two of them. The rest of the clerics stood, toes to the line of dust, in a close circle. 

“Let us begin.”

The circle of clerics folded their hands together. On cue from the head cleric, they began a low, steady chant. Around Alexander, the diamond dust glowed.

Then, the world shifted, melting into a starry dreamscape. Alexander recognized it as the place he’d gone after death; an empty, drifting purgatory of souls. 

“Close your hands.”

Alexander obeyed, and suddenly Derren appeared across from him among the stars. 

“To call for your brother’s soul,” Derren said, “you must imagine him clearly in your mind. Think of what sets him apart from the other spirits.”

Alexander took a deep breath and allowed his mind access to images he’d long since blocked off. In his most recent memories of Avory, his brother wore expressions of polite interest, quiet disdain, or careful indifference. He never smiled, not like he did when he was younger.

Well— 

A violent shiver gripped his body as he hovered amid the memory. He saw red. Red blood against white walls. It dripped down the bed-frame and soaked the blankets. It caked the brown hair, soaked up in its gentle curls. It framed the haunting smile. That smile. 

“Do not break the circle.” Derren’s voice dispelled the memory entrapping Alexander. “Please, try again.”

Alexander hadn’t realized that he’d failed. He wanted to shout at Derren, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. Did he not realize how difficult it was to remember the moment of Avory’s death?

Cold fear seeped into Alexander through the stone floor, locking onto his legs and crawling fast toward his heart. Suddenly gripped by the certainty that Avory wanted to stay dead, he closed his eyes and shook his head. He struggled to correct himself. Avory hadn’t just _died_. He’d been killed, and it had been Avory’s own hand that held the blade. It may as well have been Alexander’s hand. He hadn’t done anything to stop it. 

Thrown headfirst into another memory, Alexander watched himself pack his backpack with Avory’s uncertain gaze following him. 

_“I’m fine, Alex,”_ he said. _“I really am fine.”_

How could he have accepted that? How could he walk away after seeing that look in Avory’s eyes? 

He watched himself close the door. Unbidden, tears blurred the memory’s image until he hovered again among the stars. When he blinked the tears away, a delicate mist flowed from the stars into the middle of the diamond circle. Derren reached a hand toward it before Alexander recognized the mist for what it was.

“Does this soul belong to Avory Karollo?” Derren asked.

Heart pounding, Alexander listened as his brother’s voice echoed in his ears. 

“Yes.”

“Avory Karollo,” Derren continued, “Do you wish to return to the mortal plane?”

Alexander’s hazy mind finally caught up with Derren’s words. “Wait,” he cut in, “I want to speak with him first.”

Derren pursed his lips together, but he gave a curt nod.

The mist shimmered as if turning its attention to Alexander. He shuddered, wishing he could see his brother’s face, or hold his hand, or hug him. Instead, he stared through the mist with wet eyes, trying to work up the courage to say what he needed to.

“I can bring you back, Ave,” he whispered. “If you want to, I can bring you back.” He waited, one second, two seconds, three, before adding, “Do you want me to?”

The mist coiled and contorted. Avory did not answer.

“I’m not in Riverside anymore,” Alexander thought to say. “I’m actually in Varia now. A town called Andulhaven. There are lots of great people there who want to meet you.” He detected the raw pleading in his own voice as if he were only a bystander, listening to a lost boy beg his brother to return to life.

“I miss you, Alex.”

“Miss you, too.” Alexander managed to say. 

The mist curled thoughtfully. “I wanted to be dead. When I did it, I wanted to be dead.”

Tears dripped off of Alexander’s chin and plummeted into the depths of stars. 

“I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“I want you back,” Alexander said selfishly. “I want to make it up to you. I want to be a good brother.”

“You were a good brother, Alex.”

Alexander bowed his head, aware of Derren watching him from across the circle. He couldn’t find it in himself to be ashamed of the tears that now flowed freely down his cheeks. “I should have stopped you.”

“I died because I wanted to. That wasn’t your fault.” Avory’s mist sunk until it nearly touched the circle of dust. “If you want me to live, I will live because you want me to.”

“I want you to live,” Alexander said before he could stop himself. The words fell out of him in a whimper. 

Avory’s mist turned back to Derren. “You asked if I wished to return to the mortal plane? My answer is yes. I wish to return to my brother.”

As soon as the words floated from the mist, the diamond circle lifted, particle by particle. It twinkled as it merged with Avory’s mist. The shimmering brightened until Alexander couldn’t see anything but a blue-white glow. He pressed his eyes closed against the light. 

When he opened his eyes, the familiar stone walls of the church once again surrounded him. The diamond dust had been blackened and now lay in an ashen circle around a small, pale body. Avory didn’t move, even after one of the clerics draped a blanket over his bare shoulders. 

“Ave?” Alexander wasn’t sure if he could break the circle yet, but he lurched forward all the same and gathered Avory up in his arms. There was that face, just as he’d left it, eyes closed and mouth nudged upward in the slightest hint of a smile. Without the blood, Alexander could believe it was a peaceful smile. “Avory…”

Avory finally breathed. Shallow breaths quickly turned to gasps as he filled his new lungs with air. Alexander held him, rubbing some warmth into his clammy shoulders. At last, Avory opened his eyes. The dull blue, just a shade lighter than Alexander’s own eyes, sharpened with recognition.

“Alex?”

“It’s me,” Alexander said, pressing his forehead to Avory’s. “I’m here, Ave. I’m here. You’re alive.”

Avory allowed himself to be held, though his body stayed limp and cold. “I’m alive…”

Alexander ignored the sadness in his brother’s voice, how his smile leveled out, and the faraway look in his eyes. He ignored it all. He had his brother back, and he had his second chance. He wouldn’t leave Avory alone again. He’d be a better brother. 

“I love you, Avory,” Alexander whispered in a tear-clouded voice. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Avory moved his head upward ever-so-slightly, eyes focused on Alexander’s chin. His mouth barely moved as he breathed, “I love you, Alex. I missed you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, there it is. I know it took forever to post the last chapter, but between finals and wanting to get the last chapter perfect, I took my time with it. Does it feel incomplete to you? Great, because this isn't the last you'll see of this crew. 
> 
> I also apologize for any damage I did to your heart, because I suffered a lot while writing this. 
> 
> Expect a slightly remastered version sometime soon, with a new chapter three! (That poor singular D:BH prompt...sorry for anyone who came expecting more Connor and Hank...and thanks for sticking around!)


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